Friday, September 5, 2008

Google makes a browser, but Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Just a few days ago, Google proved the rumours true. The rumours I speak of (as there are many surrounding the rainbow-coloured-logo'd Web giant) concern a Web browser to take on not only Microsoft's Internet Explorer, but Mozilla Firefox as well. That browser is here, it's called Google Chrome, and it's sexy as hell.

So why would Google, a longtime Firefox supporter, flip on Mozilla and begin competing with them? The answer is simple: $, £, €, ¥, you get the idea. If you're a fan of Google, as I am, you probably already know that they are the best at what they do, and if they're not, they're either working to improve or saving up to purchase their competition. Gmail thoroughly owns Yahoo! Mail and Windows Live Mail. Mapquest? The 90s called, they want their online maps back. Now in the 21st century, we use Google Earth. Forget mapping; we now use a virtual globe with satellite photos. And when Google Video failed, they up and bought YouTube.

All free.

So how do they pay for all this, their employees, and upkeep on their beautiful Mountain View, CA office? Advertising. That, and investments, but a big chunk of their money comes from advertisements. You run a search, and the results are preceded by sponsored results. You check your email, and ads similar to the content of the email is displayed. They have a massive database of ads to match keywords to, and sponsors want in. In a big way.

But if you use Firefox, you can block Google's ads and hide the sponsored search results, so you get the best Google has to offer while Google gets nothing for providing these great services.

Chrome is Google's answer to Firefox and the extensions that cut off their revenue. In exchange for giving up these conveniences, Chrome offers a very small and lightweight tabbed browser experience, which seems to load pages about twice as fast as Firefox 3. There's also this weird security feature that lets spyware and viruses through, but into some virtual space that is destroyed when you close the tab. Sounds scary and cool at the same time, but I don't visit sites that would install malware anyway. I wouldn't know where to begin with that.

If you use Firefox for whatever reason, especially if you don't block ads, you owe it to yourself to at least give Chrome a chance. It really is a nice browser.

And now for something completely different, Zack and Miri are making a porno! If those names mean nothing to you, how about Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen? Rogen you may know from Superbad or Knocked Up, and Kevin Smith is that sick writer/director behind Clerks., Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, and Clerks 2. He also plays Silent Bob in all of those but Jersey Girl. Rogen is Zack, and Miri is played by Elizabeth Banks. Early reports don't shine much hope into a possibility of screen time for Smith, but his comedy partners Jason Mewes (Jay) and Jeff Anderson (Randal) have parts.

The premise is pretty simple. Zack and Miri are lifelong platonic friends going to college who decide to make adult films to make ends meet. What else do you need to know? Oh yeah, do they do it, or is this another Hollywood cop-out (I'm lookin' RIGHT at you, Hostel)? Seth Rogen describes the film as filthy, but defends the use of nudity and sex in films. The MPAA slapped an NC-17 rating on it. Smith appealed without changing a thing, and it's getting an R rating, but just barely.

Google's Chrome is out now, but you're going to have to wait until Halloween to see Kevin Smith's Porno. Until then, you can check out the red-band trailer. You know how the "The following PREVIEW" card that flashes before every trailer has a green rating? Trailers are rated, too, but they only have two ratings. All Audiences, or green-band, is the most common by far. Restricted, or red-band, is very rare. You won't see them in theaters, as they almost always contain language, violence, or even nudity. Zack and Miri's trailer earns the red band for language alone.

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