'Cash for Clunkers' caveats

Two weeks ago today, I was at work, as I am now, with my last car. On the way home, it died. I later found that it was the head gasket we had just had repaired three months ago. We hadn't even finished paying on the prior repair. That is what you call a lemon: a car that, no matter how much you put into it, keeps costing you more than it's worth.

This past Monday, a new economic and environmental stimulus package took effect, called "Cash for Clunkers", and it's been getting a lot of attention lately. Because of the death of my car, we took my wife's car in. We didn't know about the program, but when we heard we could get $3500 or $4500 off a brand-new car, it sounded like a good idea. A "Clunker", according to the rules and regulations of this program, is a car made in 1984 or more recently and gets less than 18 miles per gallon. Jen's car qualifies; it gets close to 15 miles to the gallon. Or at least we thought it qualified.

Appropriately named "Chuggy" (by me, no less), aside from getting below-average gas mileage, the spedometer did not work (as soon as you started it, it would climb to, and then past its maximum level), there was no panel on the driver's door (to let yourself out, you had to grab the linkage inside the door and pull), the front windows did not go down, the roof was just a sheet that hung down and could not be tacked up, the doors could not be locked, the A/C didn't work due to a missing belt, the car had to be warmed up for at least 5 minutes in the cold, the shifter knob for the transmission kept falling off (we had to put a bag over it to at least catch it), while the gas tank had a cap, there was no cover, the car was white, rust, and steel colored, the bumpers were barely hanging on. Oh, and it didn't like going over 45-50 miles per hour. (For all that, though, it was a very reliable car. Neither of the cars I've had since she's had it have lasted as long.)

But, according to the federal government, Chuggy isn't a clunker. Being a "Clunker", by their definition, isn't actually about fuel economy. The reason Chuggy isn't a clunker is because when it was "brand new", it got more than 18 miles to the gallon (probably about 20-22). 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais, V6, automatic. In fact, most standard passenger cars manufactured since 1984 got better than 18 miles to the gallon when they rolled off the lot. So what is a "clunker"? It's mainly big trucks and sports cars, cars actually designed to get low mileage in favor of performance, whether it's workload or racing. Before the Bush Administration, bad fuel economy did not a bad car make, if it made up for it in other ways. Now fuel economy is first and foremost.

Lastly, you don't get any cash. What you get is a voucher for $3500 or $4500 towards the purchase of a new vehicle, and this is all handled with the dealer. It acts as your down payment, if you haven't got one, which is great for working-class folks who have bills to pay and can't save, but can afford a monthly payment. I'm sure we all know folks like that. ;-) (You read the blog of one...)

So here's how it works. If you want to trade your car in under this program, you need to find out what the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) rated the fuel economy of your car's make, model, and trim when it was brand new. Aftermarket modifications and wear and tear do not count whatsoever. Find this out, because the dealer will find out, and if it's 19 or higher, your car will not qualify, regardless of what it gets now. If your car or truck does qualify, $3500 is taken off the total cost of the car if the new car gets 5-9 miles more per gallon than the car you're trading in. An additional $1000, for a total of $4500, is taken off if the new car gets 10 miles more per gallon than the trade-in. Futhermore, the trade-in must be in the name of the person buying the new car, and it must have been in that person's name for a full year or longer.

We did not qualify, but we were still able to trade Chuggy in for a fraction of what we would have got under the program. Our payments went up a bit and we got a lesser car, but there are things about it I like more, too. (On top of that it gets a little better gas mileage!)

"Cash for Clunkers" started this past Monday. I wondered why Nissan made us sign everything for the 27th on the 24th. I guess that's why. $100 million has already been paid out to car dealerships around the country for Clunker trade-ins alone, and the goverment appropriated $1 billion. So the fund has $900 million left; at this rate, that's another 9 weeks. Maybe less, as word of the program gets out. And Congress is reportedly seeking another $2 billion for the program.

//Update: 3 August 2009: They got it - so there is now roughly $2.5 billion, I'm guessing, available for this program.

This may be what it takes to get the economy working again. Stimulus checks are not the answer, because people either save them, or use them to pay for goods and services that are not financially threatened. Like the light bill - the power company is not going anywhere. So stimulating them is a waste of money. People may buy booze with it, or drugs - or, to be fair, food. Food manufacturers aren't hurting either; neither is the spirits industry. And I shouldn't need to explain why the drug trade doesn't need money. The auto industry however, does need stimulus. And the banks who underwrite their loans. They need help as well. People need to buy expensive things they need because they need them, and they need to buy them from large companies to keep these businesses doing business, and paying their employees, keeping their families fed, their kids off the streets, not committing crimes with their friends. I know all that's a stretch, but that's how a capitalist system works. The only problem is that due to the problems the Republicans left us, people don't have the confidence to make these big purchases, because they'll be worse off if they lose their jobs. The Republicans (and the rich) say "Buy, buy, buy, the more you buy, the more industry will make, fewer people will be laid off, your job will be more secure" and the working class wants assurances. Well, sometimes life doesn't come with guarantees, and you just have to make the most out of what you got. We can make this work.

Bought Our First New Car

Pretty sure I didn't post about my last car, the 1996 Ford Contour, going out back in March or April. For reasons unknown, it blew a head gasket and was in the shop for a full month getting fixed. Well, despite being "fixed", it blew the head gasket again a week ago, last Saturday morning as I got off work. Granted, I left the water cap off when I put water in it, but that couldn't have been the only thing, as it had been acting up for a while. Plus, when we got the water back in it and the reservoir covered, it continued to act up, so either something wasn't done right before, and/or the guy who owned it before was overly rought with it. It's probably a bit of both.

The problem with buying a used car, whether you buy it from a private citizen or a dealership, is in ten out of ten cases, you are buying somebody else's problem. They had some reason for getting rid of it. OK, there's the occasional story about the widow who's selling her husband's car, which works perfectly, just to rid herself of the memory... but that's also a one in a million shot. If you buy a used car, you can expect that something is wrong beyond what you're being told, if you're told anything at all. And I wasn't. I was told it was normal for Fords to idle so roughly; I was told that it didn't need a thermostat or an oxygen sensor; I was told that it was OK for the "check engine" light to be on; I was told that it was "all in my head". Clearly it wasn't, as the car can't be driven five miles without inexplicably dying. But, it served its purpose. My 1987 Acura Legend was a good car, and lasted me just over six years, before the engine jumped timing and bent the valves. I didn't expect to keep that Contour long, but it lasted me until I was able to get something better. No hard feelings in any case, but it is what it is, it isn't what it ain't, and now I do have something better, so it's all good.

So, we decided to see what it would take to get a new car. I've driven a lot of cars, mostly for work, but also through rentals. In 2006 we rented a 2007 Subaru Impreza to drive to Connecticut and back. In 2008 we rented a Dodge Grand Caravan for the same trip, a 2008 or 2009. In 2007, when we visited California, we rented a 2008 Nissan Versa hatchback, and I really liked it. So we made our first stop Greenville Nissan, just to see what we could do. Well, we met with a salesman, he showed us the lot, we looked at Versa sedans and hatchbacks, and we picked out a black hatchback. My credit was ran, and yes, he said, they could put us in a new car, especially if we participated in the recent economic/environmental stimulus plan "Cash for Clunkers" the government just started doing this week (great timing, eh?). If the new car gets 5-9 miles to the gallon more than the trade-in, it's worth $3500. If the new car gets 10 or more miles to the gallon more, it's worth $4500. And the trade-in must be 25 years old or less, it can't be a classic. We qualified for the first tier with Chuggy (Jen's car). (The Contour would not have qualified.) But we were told to come back the following morning, as they were about to close.

Well, we managed to get out of bed at 9AM (a previously unheard-of feat for us) and get to the dealership by 10, but we ran into a new problem. They wouldn't let me do the Cash for Clunkers program myself because Chuggy was in Jen's name. She couldn't sign it over to me, either, because it has to have been owned and operated for one year. And Nissan didn't like Jen's credit score. Oops. So what they had to do is, put us both down as co-owners, but still, one co-owner having a score under the level they like (and the other just barely over it) didn't look good. When we had to leave for me to take Jen to work, however, they let us take the Versa, and told us the car had to be back by Thursday, at which point they should have it finalized. They woke me up the following morning (as I kept the phone in the room with me) and told me to bring it back Friday, and the paperwork would be finalized then, as Nissan had approved the credit. But the paperwork said Thursday, I told him, so we went to Greenville just for them to change one digit on a piece of paper.

The car has a 13.2 gallon tank, and it was full when we drove it off the lot Tuesday. Thursday night when I had to go to work, I'd put over 250 miles on it, and the tank was around a quarter tank. So I put $20 in. About filled it up, too. Shouldn't have put so much in, I later learned. Hindsight, 20/20 and all that. Anyway, yesterday morning, I get off at 7, I'm home by 7:40, in bed ten minutes later, and up with the alarm (or maybe just before?) two hours later. On two hours' sleep, I got dressed, and we went back to Greenville. Thankfully, Jen drove. She got a full nights' sleep, or close enough to it. Or at least she could have, having gotten off work at midnight the previous night. Three hours of waiting, finally we go into the office to sign the paperwork. 45 minutes or so later, we're the proud owners of a black 2009 Nissan Versa hatchback... that we'll be paying on for the next six years. Still, it has a 100,000 mile warranty, everything's covered except the gas and maintenance (oil changes are free, but we gotta pay for things like tire rotation, alignment, etc.).

So what's this bad boy got? Black exterior, cream interior, partial leather or pleather trim (don't care if it ain't real, it looks nice), cruise control, air conditioning (haven't had either in years), a six-disc CD changer with auxilliary input (for Mp3 players, or my phone) and six speakers (sounds good, too), rear-window wiper, his-and-hers keyless entry/power locks/keys, power windows and mirrors... Generally a nice car, but not fully loaded, either. But not the base model either, it's an SL. Oh yeah, automatic transmission, and a CVT transmission, which means "constantly variable transmission". You can't even feel it shifting, and when it's stopped but running, you can't even feel the engine running. It's also the first car I've owned with drink holders, so that's a big plus, as I drink a lot of coffee, soda, bottled water, etc. I intended to install deer warning whistles on the front, but they have to be glued on, and I just can't bring myself to do it. And I want a steering wheel cover, but I want a hard rubber one like I had in the Legend, and then the Contour, and the only cream-colored ones Walmart has are soft. I'll have to check Auto Zone and Advance Auto Parts. Maybe the Greenville Walmart. And we got a litter bag to put over the passenger seat. No more throwing trash on the floorboards in the back like we've done with previous cars, this car's staying nice as long as possible. Wish us luck with that one, we live in a swamp, just about, but I think I can keep it clean if I keep on it. It's a very nice-looking car, unlike, well... the Legend was classy, if you like the boxy 80s style, which I did, and still do. The Contour wasn't ugly, but it was boring. It was just OK. Looked like any other mid-90s Ford. Escort and Taurus looked the same, just shorter or longer.

Now we have a Reliable Car. Not one that we get in and hope it starts. We definitely have to worry about making the payments, but they aren't bad. What's gonna hurt is the insurance, since we have to have full coverage on it. And we don't know what that will be yet. Also - while I love this car - in a couple years, we'll both have built credit with Nissan, plus they have an automatic approval for current customers, so if we want, we'll be able to trade up. Maybe we'll get an Altima Hybrid. I don't know. It's too far ahead to think about. I'm just thinking, when this car is paid off, we'll have just celebrated our ninth anniversary, and we've just been married 3 years now. Hell, six years means 2015, and half the nuts in the world are sure the world ends on December 12, 2012. Just like it did on January 1, 2000, I suppose.

Anyway, this means we're down to one vehicle. One blew up, and the other is getting recycled, to put a huge dent in what we owe Nissan. Well, Jen told her mother, and her mother's giving her her Jeep, since she recently picked up a new Dodge Caravan, very similar to the one we rented, perhaps a couple years older. It's just got a leaking transmission pan, cracked windshield, and the driver's side door does not register as closed, so either that fuse has to be pulled, or the battery must be disconnected, because the "you idiot, you left the door open" beeper will actually drain the battery. Her mom went with the latter, not sure why, maybe she couldn't find the fuse, maybe the problem's more than that, I don't know, but it'll be a cheaper and quicker repair than the Contour, and Jen's never been a Ford fan anyway. So we're selling the Contour back to our mechanic, who we bought it from, for an "open" sum (he's going to forgive what we owe on it, plus do some of the repair work on the Jeep for free, and sell the Contour for parts).

Oh yeah. Wanna see it? Here's our new baby:


As usual with pictures here, click on them to see them full-size.

Not all terrorists wear turbans

The Bush administration did a fine job of convincing the American people that terrorists and Muslims, or Arabs, or turbans are all the same thing, but it wasn't always so. When I was a kid, nobody cared about the Muslims, it was the Russians we feared, and the terrorists were Irish (the IRA). But regardless of whatever freedom fighters our government wants to vilify, all a terrorist is, is somebody who spreads terror. Someone who willfully causes mayhem. Blowing up buildings certainly qualifies, but it can be done on a personal level as well. It's not politically correct to say so, but many American citizens are guilty of terrorism. Maybe not at the same level of top al-Qaeda operatives, but they fit the dictionary description just the same. Observe:

As you might have seen on my status update thingy on the right, it's our 3 year anniversary being married. On the honeymoon, we went to Tennessee. On the first anniversary, Myrtle Beach, SC. Second, Connecticut. Third... we both had to work. And Jen had to take her mom to a doctor's appointment earlier in the morning, so she didn't even get to sleep, so she wanted me to bring her a soda and some water, since she had no money and her mom bought her a sub from Subway.

So I'm driving out to her workplace, which is almost to the end of a dead-end road. It didn't always used to be a dead-end, it's just being worked on, but for all intents and purposes, it's a dead-end road. There are a few posh houses before you get to her job, but between them and where she works is just a field. Past her job, there's a church of some kind.

Anyway, I get behind this dark SUV. The guy drives past the houses, but stops about halfway between them and the driveway to my wife's job's parking lot. Just stops. He glances at me in the rear view mirror like he expects something out of me. I figure he wants me to go around, like he wants to turn around. Like he didn't see the signs saying "Road Closed Ahead" and is just now realizing his mistake.

So I pull around him, and just as I get alongside him, he hits the gas and swerves into me. Well, not into me, rather at me, as I saw what he was doing and dodged him, tapping my horn to get his attention in case it was accidental, like maybe he was trying to turn around. I got out in front of him and continued on. Well, it wasn't accidental, and he wasn't trying to turn around - he followed me into the parking lot. I parked, but didn't cut the engine. He pulled in behind me and stared at me, but made no attempt to communicate. Didn't get out, didn't honk, didn't run into my car, nothing. Just sat there and stared.

Jen hadn't come out yet, so I left. Sure enough, the guy followed me. Ironically (or maybe intentionally?) when I got to the light, it was green, but another SUV, this one beige, was just parked there, making no move to go through the light. With the other guy coming behind me, I went around the parked SUV and sailed through the green light. I actually didn't see the dark SUV go through the light. Worried that he might smash some windows in some cars at my wife's job, I doubled back, ready to call 911 if I saw him again. I didn't.

So I met my wife, but kept an eye out for this American terrorist, but he never came back. I am hoping that he did not make the connection that I was waiting for somebody, and didn't start drinking, only to return and smash up the two cars I parked between in case one belonged to somebody I know. I'm hoping he assumed that I had no business in that parking lot and was just hoping I'd leave, so he could follow me to my true destination (which started to play out, but he may have been caught at a red light, which may not have deterred a terrorist hell bent on running people off the road in broad daylight, but oncoming traffic would have stopped him).

Maybe I should have reported this to the police. Maybe he had recently been fired from that place, maybe he drank on the job or something, and maybe, in his twisted mind, if he incapacitated a few people who worked there, an opening would have allowed him to get his job back. Who knows. But I sure felt like a character in a Dean Koontz book, like the nerdy Odd Thomas chased by beefy, faceless villains with murder on their mind.

In any case, I got home safe, I didn't see the guy as I was leaving, and my wife's reporting it to her boss. Apparently they have cameras, so if a car or two do wind up smashed up, they can hopefully review some footage and get an idea of who this guy is. Meanwhile, bin Laden's protoge got maybe a tenth of a gallon of gas extra out of me, but hopefully will get his sooner or later. His type usually do. Meanwhile, I am going to play some Oblivion!

Tech News: March 2009

Haven't done one of these in a while. Pick a few news stories and pick 'em apart. There have been slim pickings in the news as of late, but I was able to find a couple at a glance tonight.

India unveils world's cheapest car
Ooh, I want one. The good news? For $2000 (or $2200, sources differ on this) you can get a four-door car, seats four, and in addition to being the world's cheapest car, it's among the smallest as well. "Smaller than a Mini Cooper" small. And it gets 47 miles to the gallon. The bad news... no heater, no A/C, no automatic transmission, and no radio. Top speed of 65mph... and you might get teased for driving what's being called a street-legal lawnmower. But the good news in that is that for the higher-end model with all of those features is still only $3800.

It must not ever get real cold in India. No heater? You probably couldn't sell a car in North Carolina without a heater. You get in your car which is covered in ice, you scrape the ice off the windshield, what stops it from reforming? And as you race down the road, even if it's only at 45mph, that actually lowers the perceived temperature. You go numb, your little car is now a liability, a hazard to every other car on the road. I can only imagine the problems with selling one up in Wisconsin or somewhere like that.

Still, a little car like that is all most Americans need. Now I'm not one of those Republinazi "do it my way or you're going to hell" types, but most SUV drivers really don't need an urban assault vehicle to carry them to Starbucks for a latte. But, people have issues, and they feel the need to compensate for something, maybe they got picked on in school, maybe they just have underdeveloped genetalia, and need to feel like they're on top of the world. One of these popular celebrities really needs to endorse these small cars, make "small" the new "big".

Oh yeah... they've received over one million orders, but they're only going to make 60,000. Smart, business-wise. Stupid overall, but par for the course. I mean, it's not like we're in a recession or anything.


Rock Band Track Pack: Classic Rock: Coming in May
Good news for those of you playing Rock Band who haven't got your Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 connected to the Internet (or have a Wii or PlayStation 2, the former of which hasn't got a hard drive and the latter can't get online). Depending on your system, Harmonix is releasing the third or fourth track pack, 20 songs you can play independent of the original game and its songs. Track Pack 1 was only released for the Wii and the PS2. The first real track pack, available for all four platforms, was Track Pack 2. Then they put out the AC/DC track pack, only 18 songs but all of them top-dollar songs.

Here's how a track pack works. Rock Band isn't just a game, it's really just an interactive media player. Rock Band and Rock Band 2 have three elements: The media player (Quickplay), the songs, and the game (Tour). The track packs are simply the media player and 20 songs. Unfortunately and stupidly, it's the first version of the media player, not the second. That is, it's the Rock Band 1 engine rather than the updated Rock Band 2 engine. Not a big deal, but it's silly that the track packs don't represent the latest and greatest.

On the business side, Rock Band downloads go for $2 apiece, except in special cases where it's an independent artist and the song's only $1, though there are plenty of independent artists up there whose songs cost the same $2 as famous artists. The problem with downloads is that only two of the four consoles Rock Band is available for support them, and the lower-end Xbox 360 doesn't, either, unless it gets upgraded with a hard drive. (You can buy them separately, or in my younger brother-in-law's case, you can have an older sister who sprung for the 120GB drive and wound up with a spare 20GB drive in need of a happy home.) Then, not all PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 consoles are online. Furthermore, for whatever reason, not everyone who can download, does. But they will buy track packs. Harmonix knocks $10 off the price of the 20 downloads, which would be $40, nevermind the cost of the disc and packaging, shipping and handling (to the store) and all that. Because not all the songs on the track pack are songs you'd pay $2 for. They give you some good ones and some not-so-good ones. It depends on your taste, but anyone can look at the list of songs and see songs they'd swap for something else. Some boil down to opinion, but some are just plain fact. Like the Lenny Kravitz song, "Let Love Rule". How about "Are You Gonna Go My Way"? I could do this all day, but instead I'll just post the list and let you decide if it's worth $30 for the lot:

Boston - Peace of Mind (1976)
Boston - Rock and Roll Band (1976)
Dead Kennedys - California Über Alles (1987)
Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia (1987)
Free - All Right Now (1970)
George Thorogood & the Destroyers - Bad to the Bone (1982)
James Gang - Funk #49 (1970)
Jethro Tull - Hymn 43 (1971)
Lenny Kravitz - Let Love Rule (1989)
Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot (1980)
The Police - Can't Stand Losing You (1978)
The Police - Truth Hits Everybody (1978)
Rush - Closer to the Heart (1977)
Rush - Red Barchetta (1981)
Siouxsie and The Banshees - Kiss Them For Me (1991)
Steve Miller Band - Take the Money and Run (1976)
Steve Miller Band - The Joker (1973)
The Stone Roses - Love Spreads (1994)
The Who - Baba O'Riley (1971)
The Who - Behind Blue Eyes (1971)

Some of those are pretty good. Both of the Who songs are excellent. Bad to the Bone and The Joker are evil if you're a bassist. Pat Benetar's song is fun as hell - for a bassist, at least.

Despite my comments about some songs not being as good as other offerings by the same artist, if I wasn't on Xbox Live, I'd get this in a heartbeat. But at the same time, if I had $30 to spend on Xbox Live and had no downloadable songs, I could come up with 15 songs I'd rather have than these 20 (though the 15 would include some of these). But since I do have DLC, I'll point out that I have all the songs on this list I want, though I don't have Closer to the Heart (Rush) and wouldn't mind having that. We have the Who songs, we have the Steve Miller songs, the first Boston song, the Free song, Bad to the Bone, Funk 49, and the Benetar song. Plus a bunch of other great songs.

Rock Band Tournament: Came in 3rd

The weekend before this past weekend, if you had asked me "What are you doing next weekend?" (referring to this weekend just past, that is) I would have said "Oh I don't know, probably staying home, maybe playing Rock Band with Jen and the guys."

I would have been half right, at least.

Anybody who's married can sympathize when I say that although my wife, her brother, and their friend were talking about this Rock Band 2 tournament for months, I had no idea about it until I read a MySpace bulletin where she said we were going to a Rock Band 2 tournament on Saturday and that she, her brother, and our friend were competing in said tournament.

Huh? What?

I love Rock Band, as anyone who reads my blog will tell you, but I'm not particularly good at it. I used to love Tetris, so you'd think a game with what amounts to falling bricks would be second nature, but while I'm good at Tetris when the blocks are falling slowly, when it speeds up real fast, it's a whole different story. Same with Rock Band. The game offers a decent challenge on Medium, when the pace is fair and you only have four columns of notes (blocks) to hit, which goes with only four fingers to hit them with, one for each column. Expert, though, what you set it to for a tournament (since it's based on score), means not only do they fall a hell of a lot faster, but you add that fifth column as well. (I wonder if six-fingered folks find Hard and Expert to be easier than I do.) And if you want to know how to play the game, read one of my other blogs about it where I spend 2-3 pages describing it, read Wikipedia, or look it up on YouTube. This story's long enough without getting into all of that. But suffice it to say that while I enjoy playing songs I like on Medium, I am not tournament material.

The tournament is in Goldsboro, at the Wayne Community College, a good hour and a half away, so I agree to drive. Then come to find out it's at 10:00 in the morning. And the car needs gas. And we need batteries for the camera. And Jen wants McDonald's sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast. Bad preparation meant that while she was at work Friday evening, I should have got the batteries and got gas. But I didn't think to for whatever reason. No, I stayed home. When Jen got home, we went over to her brother's to practice. She and Robert (her brother) and Carl (our friend) practiced, while I tried not to fall asleep. I did not play because I had no intention of playing at the tournament. I, like Robert's girlfriend, was just going for support and picture-taking (and driving). When we got home, I stayed up studying the directions on the computer. Google sent electric cars all over the country with camera kits on top, so that you can get panoramic photos of the roads all across America (in most areas) (and where was I when they were looking for drivers?) so I was noting landmarks and whatnot.

I got somewhere between an hour and an hour and a half of sleep.

Naturally, Jen's alarm woke me. She got up a half hour earlier than we planned to take a shower. I had taken one the day before, so I was good. (She probably had too, but she was in this tournament, she wasn't about to not go in looking her best.) We left at a quarter, maybe half past seven in the morning. That's seven hours after she got off work. Four hours since we left her brother's house from practicing (and him playing Ninja Gaiden II). And about two hours since we went to sleep, having been up all Friday and Friday night. One hour of good sleep and maybe half an hour of rest.

I love Google, and Google loves Greenville, North Carolina. What Google has for Greenville, I'd say among my friends, but I wouldn't post up here because it's a crude sexual reference. No matter where you're going in Eastern NC, Google will recommend that you drive through Greenville, even if it's 30 miles out of your way. But Google is somewhat accomodating in that if they're giving you directions, you can grab part of the route and drag it to make waypoints. Greenville is northwest of us, and the tournament and Goldsboro are to the southwest of us. I figured the best bet would be to go through the small town of Ayden, as right on Highway 11 where we'd likely pass through, there's a few gas stations, a McDonald's, and a Food Lion (grocery store). Dragging a waypoint to Ayden resulting in Google telling us to go up to Greenville, down to Ayden, and then onto a new route to Goldsboro. The second half looked pretty direct, but they still had us going way out of our way to Greenville. A second waypoint between Ayden and us, in the even smaller town of Blackjack (which is almost directly between us and Ayden), set the course right, and only a couple minor modifications later, and we had our perfect route.

So it's 7:30AM at the latest, and we head out. Grabbed a couple Mountain Dews for the road (love that stuff) and we were good to go. Had my latest mix in the CD player (which I still need to blog about, it's a great mix), and the heater on, which takes a while to get going. We were nearly in Ayden when I took off my beanie (my wife calls it a toboggan, maybe that's the proper name, but they've always been called beanies where I'm from - sock hats otherwise). Got into Ayden, stopped at Food Lion for batteries (and M&Ms), got cash back to get in the door (no advance/Internet ticket sales for this - $10 a head to play or watch), and we were off again. We got there around quarter after 9:00 in the morning, at a time I'm usually going to sleep. The doors didn't open until 10:00 in the morning, but we were told to be there early. We were a little too early, but Rob and Carl were a little too late. We took separate cars, partly because Robert and I both like to drive, partly because nobody likes riding in the back seat, and partly because all three of them (Carl and Rob and his girl) smoke menthol cigarettes where both Jen and I are nonsmokers.

We got there, and the line was stupidly long. There were at least 100 people in line. At least. We got in line, and fell in behind some guys talking about various games. Every time I'd open my mouth to say something, Jen would shoot me a look to shut it. Wasn't long before I couldn't help myself, and the four of them and I were getting along great, talking about handheld games and how to modify them, comparing games, and whatnot, all very friendly. Shortly after we got in line, the line doubled in size, with as many people behind us as there were ahead of us, as people started coming in herds. We called Rob; he had taken a wrong turn and was still on his way. It was almost 11am when we finally got in the door. We paid $10 each for our passes and showed our IDs to allow us to play T-rated games such as Rock Band and, if we so chose, M-rated games like Halo 3 and Gears of War.

When we got in, it was your typical convention. Most of the booths set up were for the video game and peripheral industries. One was for a generic Guitar Hero game a student had made as a project. We saw costume players (cosplayers) as Darth Vader, a Stormtrooper, Boba Fett, and Princess Leia, all from Star Wars, and some various steampunk characters, perhaps from the Fallout games, I suppose. I wanted to ask them what the deal was but didn't. All of the arcades in the break room had been rigged for free play and three pool tables took quarters (75¢) to play. People were everywhere. Talking to the folks at the booths or to each other. Some had laptops and were online, some had PSPs and Nintendo DSs. I think I saw a Magic or Yu-Gi-Oh! game in the break room. We were told registration for the tournaments was upstairs, so upstairs we went.

The ground level of the Wayne Community College "Learning Center" (aka Student Center anywhere else) consisted of a lounge with arcades, a theater/auditorium, a cafeteria, the student bookstore (closed), and various offices (e.g. financial resources) (also closed). The second floor was a computer lab and seminar/meeting rooms. The third floor, off limits to us, was classrooms, and apparently a library as well. We called Rob again, and he had taken yet another wrong turn, and hadn't arrived yet, but was on the right road, so he was close. Jen registered for her spot in the Rock Band 2 tournament. We called Rob, who was now in line with his girlfriend and Carl, and we got some personal info from them so as to register accounts for them and then put them in the band. All three DysS\MemB/EreD members registered, we found the meeting room the Rock Band 2 playoffs would be hosted in.

The room was fairly small, with about 30 people inside, including three small children and a teenage boy, who turned out to be the tournament director's children (and at least 50 people right outside, trying to watch or listen). They had a projector and screen setup, with what looked like a brand-new Xbox 360 "Arcade" edition (the $199 one) and secondhand instruments, as well as the first and second game. (Why they had Rock Band 1 is beyond me. It was never used.) The instruments were all from Rock Band 1, however, and were all in shoddy condition. The tournament director came in, and among other things, noted that now "partial" bands would not be able to play. Any band with three or fewer members was free to recruit anybody at the tournament, but could not play with three or fewer members. In other words, we needed a bassist or we were out of the tournament.

We were one of the bigger partial bands, we later learned. There were a couple others with three, and there were 3-4 with only one member. But still, we couldn't find a single person who wanted to join our band. The other partial bands all folded, every one of them. The tournament director wasn't very sympathetic to a single one of them. We only had one choice. I had to register and join the band. I was able to register an account on their site at a computer in the room, but I had to go back to the computer lab to join the tournament, so I did. I tried to be all sly and text Rob that we had to get a bassist, but Jen had already spilled the beans.

Nine bands ended up ready. The director's assistant put six of them on the whiteboard, which was to be the makeshift leaderboards and bracket, until they could figure out what to do with the odd band. They went with the two-on-two format they agreed upon on the website prior to the event. Each band paired with one other band. Each band picked one song and each pair played both songs, highest score between the two songs advances. We were the sixth band, and we picked "New Kid in School" by The Donnas. The other band picked "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains, despite the fact that the song was played during both of the prior pairings (thus had already been heard four times). The interesting thing about "Man in the Box" is that, like any song in Rock Band with cursing, it's censored, but unlike any other censored song, the bad words aren't removed, they're replaced. The song features two instances of the word shit, and first it's replaced by pit ("I am the man in the box, buried in my shit" becomes "...buried in my pit") and second it's replaced with spit ("I am the dog who gets beat, shove my nose in shit" becomes "...shove my nose in spit"). The nice thing about this is that if the singer sings the original, correct, profane words, the game reads it right because shit, spit, and pit all sound the same (to it). And every band up to and inlcuding us sang the lyrics with the clean words out of respect for the kids. The band we were playing against sang the words profane, but they failed "New Kid in School" because their male vocalist couldn't handle the female vocals.

Then an interesting thing happened. A tenth band was introduced before the ninth band, called "D-Squad", featuring the youngest of the children on vocals and her brothers on the three instruments. She could not read, so the tournament director called on a spectator to assist her. The director chose "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor (the game's easiest song) and the other band chose Rise Against's "Give it All", the hardest song played. The kids barely passed "Eye of the Tiger" but, quite naturally, failed the Rise Against song. The other band beat both songs and advanced to the next round.

Round two. The tournament director decided that two songs per pairing would take too long and that people had taken too long to decide their songs. He picked "Drain You" by Nirvana, an easy song from the first or second difficulty tier. But then we were faced with another odd number. Five bands had advanced from Round 1. The first four bands, including us, paired up. The band who beat the kids was given a pass to the finals. Yes, this tournament, this self-proclaimed "Summit", advanced a band to the finals for the stunning achievement of besting a band formed right on the spot who had little or no practice, whose average age was eight and whose vocalist could not read. It was about 3pm now, four hours after we got there, but only a little over 2 hours since we started. We were told to return at 5pm for the finals, which would be held in the auditorium, in front of an audience.

Great. I was under the impression that the tournament would only last until 2-3pm. I was thinking, win or lose, we'd go home, I'd catch about 4 hours of sleep, and then we'd all get together to drink and play Rock Band until about 4-5 in the morning, or until everybody left. So now we bothered to read our flyers they gave us at the door, and it turned out following the finals at 5, there would be an award ceremony at 8, and we were expected to be there. By now, we were guaranteed at least some measure of victory. There were three bands left. We were guaranteed third place. No one who went to the finals was leaving empty handed. So we made a run for the border - Taco Bell, that is. Got some plain-old crunchy tacos and a chicken Gordita; Jen got a small order of nachos and a taco supreme or two. Jen fell in love with Code Red Mountain Dew a few years back, but not the kind they can or bottle, only the fountain version, which only Taco Bell had, which made Taco Bell her favorite fast-food joint. They stopped carrying it and she stopped going. I figured out how to make it. A splash of the fruit punch and fill the cup with regular Mountain Dew. That's all it is. Tastes exactly the same. Now she loves Taco Bell again. I miss Subway, but I don't mind Taco Bell (used to be my favorite place to go). So. We ate our food, and headed back to the college. Hung around for a bit, then headed to the auditorium at the designated time.

The finals were a mess. The difference between an auditorium and a theater, I came to understand, is a theater is just a silver screen bordered by curtains. Sometimes the curtains close over the screen, but I haven't seen that in years. An auditorium features a stage you can get up on via stairs on either side, the curtains close, and the screen is optional. The screen was present in this one, full size, so movies could be shown here. What they had done was placed us at stage left (audience's perspective) not quite off stage, but not quite on stage either. They had set up a table with a tiny little 20" or so TV and the Xbox, with the instruments behind it. Somehow the Xbox was sending its video signal to the TV but also its video and audio to the projector in the room at the back of the auditorium, which was projecting the image on the screen behind us. As you've probably seen, a typical Rock Band 2 screen with the full band playing is one guitarist on the left, the other on the right, the drummer in the middle, and the vocalist on top. The vocals track is horizontal anyway, and on the bottom 3/4 of the screen you have the three note highways side by side. How we were positioned, you simply couldn't see the left track, and the light from the projector was blinding us. Not only that, the floor was freshly waxed and the drum kit, I later learned, was getting away from our drummer. Not just ours mind you, the other two bands had this problem as well, though they did a better job of overcoming the odds. Oh, the song. "Today" by the Smashing Pumpkins. How we came to that conclusion was, we'd tell the game to give us a Random song (this is an option) and the 12 of us (3 bands * 4 members each) would each have the option to veto it. A couple songs came up, I can't remember, maybe easy, maybe hard, maybe "Painkiller" (by Judas Priest, one of the hardest songs on the game), I don't recall. "Today" came up and nobody said no. It's an easy song, it's popular, people know it - why not? I had no problem with it, but the setup of the game and everything was a mess, and we scored a very modest 300,000 and some change. The next band scored in the 500,000's, and the third band - the one who beat D-Squad, actually, handed all of us our asses with a score of roughly ours and the other band's put together.

We came in third.

But, we got to go to a town we'd never been to before. We had a good... We had a GREAT time. We competed in a tournament for our mutual favorite game (not mine - theirs - but I do enjoy playing it enough) and we met some good people - not one jerk in the lot. We got out of the house and did something we'd never done before and probably won't do again, at least for some time. It's not every day a video game tournament rolls through your neck of the woods. This particular lot announced its intention to come back, same place, roughly same time of year, in 2010. We'd like to come back, but we'd like assurances that the shortcomings this year will be addressed next year.

Awards ceremony at 8pm. There were a lot of games besides Rock Band 2. Guitar Hero World Tour for instance, as well as Halo 3, Gears of War, Madden '09, Mario Kart for the Game Cube (not sure the official name, just saw it played), Call of Duty 4, Call of Duty 5, and many others. Each would have its winners, as many as 3 each or 3 teams/squads each. We had no idea when we'd be called. Most bottled liquor in North Carolina is sold by government-run stores cleverly named "ABC Package Store" and they close at 9pm at the latest. Some as early as 7pm. It was about 5:30; we had no idea where to get liquor after dark in a town we'd never been in. Here's where my keen sense of navigation should have been of assistance, but wasn't. We were on Wayne Memorial Drive, a few miles off the main highway in the area. We knew we were on the outside of town, so we went back to the highway, me driving and Jen looking for ABC stores. (Hey, I wanted some rum and she wanted some tequila.) We left town via Wayne Memorial Drive, having passed a road called Ash Street, which I do remember from the map as being the main road in Goldsboro. We came back to it and I took a guess. Wound up outside of town in relative short order. Turned around, passed Wayne Memorial Drive and took it the other way. Bit longer, but we left town again. No liquor stores, but again, we'd passed another busy road, so we took it in one direction. Luck held up - road outta town. Turn around, past Ash, back into Goldsboro. (Any Goldsboro residents reading this are probably laughing their asses off - I bet we passed a half dozen liquor stores by then.) This was Berkely Road or Boulevard. About to leave town, I pulled into a gas station, and we asked the attendant for directions to the nearest liquor store. She gave them, and we were off again, and this is where it gets funny. Jen could have sworn we passed a Walmart coming into town, and the liquor store is across from Walmart. We follow the directions, get to the Walmart, and look where we are. Right off the freeway. In other words, we get our liquor, which we drove about 30-40 minutes to get, and inside of 5 minutes, via the freeway, we're right back at the school. Lovely, eh? Had we known we could just jump on the freeway back towards home, take the very next exit, and search the area, we'd be putzing around the school for another 45 minutes having the time of our lives. Right.

Well, we got back, and we still had a good hour to kill. Jen and her brother played pool. His girlfriend and Carl smoked outside, and I bounced back and forth between the two groups. Jen and I were having a great time, but the rest were bummed out that we didn't do better, and Rob's girlfriend was downright irate at what she was probably about to call a conspiracy to usher one band through the playoffs, never mind that they were actually better than us, perhaps better prepared, who knows, maybe their instruments at home were in excessive disrepair as well and they were ready to overcome that hurdle. Jen and I buy our Rock Band and Xbox gear from Best Buy, and we pay for the warranty. Something goes bad, they replace it. It's that easy. Rob buys his stuff from Gamestop. If something goes wrong, he can send it off to Microsoft to be worked on and he's without an Xbox for a few weeks (though, a couple days before the tournament, his 360 got the Three Red Rings of Death - catchy name, that - and his girl bought a brand-new one, planning to return the new Xbox when the broken one comes back from the shop). I don't think any of us were actually happy that we came in third, but at the best of times we were willing to concede that at least we made it to the finals, at least we had a good time.

We go into the auditorium, take our seats - actually, some savage looking for a handout swoops in and takes Jen's seat right from under her, and Rob's girlfriend ended up having to temporarily share a seat with him as we couldn't get anyone on either side to move over (despite open seats on either side, because, God forbid, you know, a group sit together, right). Anyway, we were all pleased that Rock Band 2 was the first game announced, and being in third place, we were the first band announced. We were marched up on stage, announced by band name and first and last names, all of us but Rob's girlfriend, each given a bronze medal which unceremoniously read "3rd", ushered to the back, and given a goodie bag with four posters and God knows what else inside. Rather than take our seats again, we simply exited, better to avoid the traffic, we figured, and checked out our goodie bag. The poster was for Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, a game none of us cared about much (though, for a while, I had the demo, though, because it was free). Couldn't be Guitar Hero: Metallica, but oh well. Four shirts. Two Medium, two Extra-large. I wound up with an XL, but swapped it for a M. I'm gonna re-gift it, and I can't say to whom because that would spoil the surprise. Also inside the bag was a guitar skin, though not for a Rock Band guitar, but for a Guitar Hero guitar. The best prize though, was on the way out, we were given a case (10-pack) of Vitamin Water. I guess they were the main sponsor. Actually the best prize was the good time we had, but I've said all that a few times already, no need to be (too) repetitive.

The five of us parted ways, Rob and his girlfriend and Carl in Rob's car; Jen and I in ours, and headed for home. We offered to get together and play Rock Band (ha ha) but none of them were up for doing anything but sleeping, though they'd gotten far more of it than we had. Wusses, lol. Then again, Robert was probably up at 6am Friday morning seeing his daughter off to school. No telling if he'd had a nap during the day or how long Carl or Rob's girlfriend had been up. (If anyone's curious by now, I'm not posting her name because she asked Jen not to post any pictures with her in them (or to cut/blur her out) so I'm extending a similar courtesy here. She probably told work she was doing something far more charitable than accompany her boyfriend, his sister, her husband, and their friend to a Rock Band tournament. Oh well.

Update: It's now early Tuesday morning as I write this extension of the story. We were so sore and tired when we got up Sunday afternoon. I had to work that night, too. We barely had time to run the errands we intended to run, and I had no time to cook dinner to take to work. So, instead we picked up a pizza at Walmart (Walmart deli pizza is awesome by the way) and I baked that, cut it and ate it at work. Good stuff. Though I would like to ask the Waltons what "beef product" is, that it says is on the pizza on the box. I am not joking. Go to their deli and look at the all-meat pizza, see what it says is on it. It's good though.

At some point (the next couple days kinda ran together) I made two postings on the CarolinaGameSummit.com forums, the official site for the tournament. One called out all the Rock Band 2 players. I told them that we didn't get enough time to play and we knew they didn't either, so we posted our Xbox Live gamertags, so they could add us as friends and play us online, if they chose. Good guys, all of 'em, I figured it would be awesome if we kept in touch until the next tournament, practiced together, and had a better tournament next year. I also posted Jen's, Carl's, and my MySpace pages (Rob hasn't got one) in case they wanted to contact us that way. The other post was much longer, not only detailing everything that was wrong with the tournament, but also a suggestion for how it could be better next year, addressing each and every problem. The tournament director (forums username DigitalRecruiter) read my post and only had one misunderstanding; it turns out he thought I was insulting his daughter by pointing out that she couldn't read. I apologized for the misconception and explained that I was only making the point about them pushing a band who bested kids through to the finals and reiterated that it was admirable and inspiring that he was allowing his kids to play the game. I also figured that if that was the only problem he had with my post, hopefully the other issues would be addressed for next year, and I hinted at that inference as well. Hopefully it wasn't in vain. Also, the band who bested D-Squad and won the tournament joked, on the forums in another topic, that they wished they had had better competition and would have been allowed to play more songs (in fact they played one fewer song than the other two finalist bands as they skipped the "Drain You" round). Overall it was good sportsmanship on part of the players and a lack of planning on part of the folks running the show. On top of the shortcomings of the Rock Band 2 tournament, players from virtually every other game showcased at the tournament had a long list of complaints. And virtually nobody said that the game they came to play went off without a hitch.

All in all, the 2009 Carolina Games Summit was a failure and an embarassment to the gamers, and possibly the sponsors as well. However, it was a lot of fun. It brought a lot of cool people together. And I really do hope that if the same people do the tournaments again next year, that they learn from their mistakes.

A short summary of my suggestions for improving things, as the problems are mostly mentioned here, I think it's only fair to point out the solutions I suggested. As it relates to the lines, they could have had outdoor entertainment for those in the line and could have facilitated ticket sales better. Let people buy them online and register online, and merely confirm their registration on arrival. Would have been much faster. As for the nine teams, do groups of three instead of two. Have D-Squad open the playoffs and/or the finals but not actually compete, let alone be the means for a band to advance straight to the finals. (That little girl could have sang any Hannah Montana or iCarly song she liked if they'd picked "Testify" by Rage Against the Machine; the way the vocals are set up on that song (and a few others) are such that all you have to do is say something, anything.) For the finals, we should have been performing behind the curtain and the drums placed on a mat of some kind. They could have rented or bought working guitars. We could have used Guitar Hero instruments. Rock Band 2 recognizes them and they're sturdier (despite the game software being inferior). Too many spectators made the room crowded; they could have limited the spectators or cycled them through.

In closing, it was our first video game tournament. All four of us. My youngest brother, who's always been better than me at video games, has never competed in a tournament (I asked). I wasn't even a proper member of the band, but following this tournament, I'm going to start practicing with the guys and Jen. They actually had two prior bassists but became a dedicated three-piece band when both flaked out on them too many times. Well, I won't do that. When I can, I'll play bass for them, and next year, we'll be a well seasoned four-piece virtual rock band, and DysS\MemB/EreD will go for first.

News Roundup IV

Welcome to the fourth news roundup. Wasn't sure when I was going to do another after a slow night Sunday night in the news, but one of the first articles I saw Monday night just jumped right out at me, so I thought I'd tackle it.

I'd like to note first, though, the slight change in format. At first I'd quote an article, summarize it, and then comment. Recently though, I've been linking to the story and just belting out the comments. I'm going to stick with that, because it seemed a little rough to sum up an article I thought was incredibly stupid.


Idiots: Handsfree cellphone chat while driving is just as dangerous
Clearly you don't have to be bright to write for the New York Times or to be a quoted source in a Times article. So much for me tending to think news from them was a cut above others.

In many places, including here in NC, it's illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving if you have to hold the cell phone in your hand. The solution, aside from not doing it at all, is to use a handsfree kit, either a wired one or a Bluetooth wireless earpiece.

I've tried driving and talking on a cell phone while driving without handsfree. It's not hard to do, but it does create a distraction. But then, I was raised on video games and I use computers a lot. I'm used to things coming at me fast. I can do a few things at once. Like anybody, though, I've seen the effects cell phones can have on bad drivers.

I don't think a Bluetooth or wired handsfree kit can make a bad driver on a cell phone better, but I'd rather see a bad driver have both hands on the wheel and be looking at the road rather than having one hand on the phone and looking cockeyed between the road and somewhere else only they can see.

The article does claim that handsfree cell phone chatter is not the same as talking to a person in the passenger seat because if you're looking for a specific exit on the freeway, the passenger can help you while the person on the phone cannot. This is a good point, but it only works for someone who's lost. If I know where I'm going, what's the difference?

The article claims that a driver listening to an educational tape while driving is safer than a cellphone driver with handsfree, and on top of that the driver can pass a test on the materials later. Maybe that's true, but the more you learn from the tape, the less attention you paid to the road, increasing your chances of winding up in an accident. The article specifically states that the drivers were paying attention to the programs - if the same source is saying cell phones are distracting, what it's saying by virtue of omission is that those test subjects were not paying attention to the road.

What about kids in the back seat? The article doesn't even touch that. Kids in the back seat can be arguing, fighting, or actively trying to distract the driver. So how can they say that they support banning handsfree cell phones with no mention of a far more dangerous driving habit?


Some countries will actually... miss Bush?
While most of America is counting down the days until Dubya goes back to his Texas ranch to make way for a new administration, the BBC reports that the dislike for Bush is not entirely universal, and to the surprise of many, myself included, some folks actually appreciate what he's done over the last 8 years. Countries in Africa he's increased aid to since the Clinton administration, countries he hasn't bombed back to the Stone Age.

And let's not forget America itself. Well, John McCain's America, where everybody's rich. I'm pretty sure that anyone who would have financially gained from a McCain presidency will miss Bush. Those who weren't hurt by the quadrupling of gas prices, and who profited from the exploitations of the working class. How these "people" slept at night for the past eight years eludes me, but I take a small amount of comfort in knowing that over the next four years, they'll be feeling the fear the rest of us have, that their time could come at any time, that they could be left without a job, without a means to provide for their families. Not something I'd wish on anybody, but I could make an exception for those who heartlessly wished the same fate on thousands of Americans and then sat down to a steak dinner in their houses on the hills.

Of course Israel will miss Bush. It's always been seen as a big no-no to have less than a glowing opinion of Israel. As I understand it, the UN gave the area to the Jews following World War II and the Muslims were there first. Why we couldn't just give them a part of South Dakota or something is what I'll probably never understand. I guess we (the powers that be) really don't want them here, and more to the point thought they would just fight it out over there and leave us alone. Well, 9/11 proved that wrong. And I'm not sure who's right and who's wrong or what the solution is over there, but supporting one side exclusively isn't going to make the other side happy, and if 9/11 was indeed the tragedy so many of us call it, I think we need to look at what led up to it and work towards preventing a repeat incident. Military action is the obvious and easy way, but it hasn't worked. All we did was give Bush the diversion he needed to finish what his daddy started. (Not that I'll mourn Saddam's passing for a second, or his child-molesting son, Uday.) President-elect Obama has the right idea wanting to talk and seek a diplomatic solution. We've tried looking the other way and we've tried bombs, the worst that could happen is it doesn't work, either. And maybe Israel will not appreciate a President who isn't in their back pocket, but maybe they'll appreciate peace, less killing, if there's a chance it can be attained. Maybe not, I don't know.


GTA Chinatown Wars (DS) sparks controversy
Grand Theft Auto games get a lot of crap from the conservative right, and often unjustly so. Though a little dated, GTA San Andreas (PlayStation 2, Xbox, PC) was a wonderful story of redemption set amidst the rise of "West coast" gangsta rap in and around Los Angeles in the early 1990s. We followed once-troublemaker Carl "CJ" Johnson, who returned home to Los Santos (what the GTA world calls Los Angeles) from Liberty City (fake New York City) where he returns to bury his mother and reconnect with his family. His brothers try to draw him into the all-too-familiar world of crime, but while dodging a corrupt cop, he ends up going into exile, starting a business (albeit one of questionable legality), and returning home to clean up his neighborhood of police corruption and gang violence. Of course, this is a heavily biased way of looking at the game, but it does have the virtue of being true, from an optimistic point of view. Also, it's assuming the player plays CJ as straight as possible - it's entirely possible, and from certain characters encouraged, to commit all kinds of crimes while completing the game. You can even go on unsanctioned killing sprees, killing civilians left and right and running from the police until you're killed or can reach a safehouse. And it's even fun. But the point is, San Andreas gave the player what he or she put into it. A little more perhaps, but no less.

The problem with San Andreas wasn't that it was a GTA game, but rather that Rockstar, the developer of the game, snuck adult content into the game past the censors. As it was, the game was released with an "M" rating, but once the included sex scenes were accounted for, it was rebranded with the sales-killing "AO" rating. (No amount of violence or gore can fetch an "AO" rating; however, explicit sex calls for the higher rating implicitly.) In the game, as released, CJ can date a half-dozen girls at various points in the game (mostly, as a side plot). All the date is, is you take her to a bar or restaurant, or a dance hall, and utilize adapted controller games of skill to impress your girl, for example dancing by pressing various buttons in a timed sequence. After you take her home, she thanks you, and that's the end of it. However, in the original build of the game, after a few dates, after you take the girl home, she'll invite you in for coffee. Choosing yes shows her first performing oral sex on CJ, and then they go to the bedroom and begin intercourse. Pressing two buttons in rhythm (at increasing speeds) controls the rhythm of the lovemaking, and another button changes positions (there are four, I believe). The point is to raise the girl's "pleasure meter" up to a certain point in a certain amount of time in order to make the date a "success" and further the relationship. The coffee request was removed from the first retail build, but the code was not, and a simple hack restored the coffee question and therefore the entire X-rated element. Rockstar initially denied involvement, claiming that the hack added the explicit scenes, and in the ensuing confusion, the next two GTA games were never released for the PC and a "Second Edition" of San Andreas was released, with the sex scenes completely removed.

Rockstar has, with GTA, a chance to make history, but they're afraid to take it. The ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board, they rate the games in the US) has no authority to stop Rockstar from making a game with explicit sex scenes, or even the tame ones in San Andreas (the characters were clothed during the sex, unless you used a nude patch, but that changes the game). All they can do is put the AO rating on it. And Rockstar is afraid that if a GTA game is rated AO, it will not sell well. Why? Well, Walmart will not carry a game rated AO, and neither will many other retailers. This would only be their initial reactions, however, as demand for the game would push consumers to Amazon.com and other less-restrictive sellers. There is no way the entire retail industry is going to boycott a GTA game. There are various porn games which are boycotted by most retailers, and as such, they cost a heck of a lot more money. Retailers have nothing to lose by not selling a game made by Hustler or Penthouse, but they have everything to lose if they choose not to stock a GTA game. Because a high-profile game like a GTA game doesn't just generate title sales. It brings people to the stores. They come for GTA, maybe they buy the strategy guide, maybe they buy another controller. Maybe they buy a couple DVDs, as Walmart and Gamestop keep their DVDs very close to their games, and both sell them cheap (Gamestop's because they're used, Walmart's because... it's Walmart). So you know you're gonna spend $60 on the GTA game, but you're gonna spend more. Refuse to carry the GTA game, and that's not just $60 you're losing. Then there's brand loyalty. "Hey, I couldn't get GTA 5 at Walmart, but I was able to get it on Amazon, the shipping was free (shipping's free on orders of $25 or more, that's not made up), and it came inside a week." Maybe the consumer goes back to Amazon for their next game without checking to see if Walmart has it or not.


Gray wolves no longer endangered. Environmentalists have a cow.
Environmentalists are some of the biggest hypocrites in the world, after evangelical religious fanatics. Not only do you have the folks over at PETA fighting animal cruelty when animals themselves are cruel to each other, and even some domestic terrorist activities (like handing out flyers at elementary schools calling kids' mothers murderers for not going vegan). And now that the gray wolf is no longer endangered and the Bush administration is taking them off the endangered species list, these nuts are having a fit?

Do they really think they can have it both ways? Jeez, if you want them to stay endangered, go kill a few? As opposed to, I don't know, patting yourselves on the back for a job well done? You'd think animals being no longer endangered would be their goal. I guess not.

Now granted, wolves are beautiful creatures, and I don't think they should be killed for fur. I wouldn't throw paint on someone for wearing fur (wolf or otherwise) but I think it's a stupid reason to kill an animal. I have a leather jacket, but cows aren't endangered, and it was my father's. I wouldn't buy a leather jacket, though my reasons aren't politically motivated. I just don't care for the feel of leather. Too rough and doesn't look that great. I'll take a warmer jacket made with the regular stuff, and for less.

Waiting for Tropical Storm Hanna

So, the past 24 hours or so we've been waiting for this storm that kinda didn't happen.

Yesterday morning, I got off work. Pretty clear conditions. I stayed up for a while thinking something might happen early (I kind of had my facts wrong, too - it happens).

Finally get some sleep, but we wake up kinda early. Got maybe 4 hours sleep tops. Because we're still expecting this thing to happen sometime today.

Then we get the info that Hanna's supposed to make landfall at 2am around Wilmington (for those not from here, it's a coastal town near the NC/SC border) and at around 2am Sunday morning, it's supposed to be long gone, through Virginia. OK.

We go to the store for some stuff, thinking we were going to need to stock up and all that good stuff. The local Food Lion has these metal shutters over their windows, not real shutters but rather some kind of paneling they just threw up real ghetto-like. I wish I'd gotten pictures. Oh, and a sign that said "Yes we're open", one of those Coca-Cola banners smaller stores have. Epic fail for not saying "I assure you we're open" ("Clerks." reference). It didn't even need to be shoe polish on a bedsheet, just the words - would it be too much to ask? Oh well. We scored the bare necessities. You know... bread, milk, bologna, cheapo frozen pizzas, Whoppers (Hershey's, not Burger King's), etc.

We get home. Still no rain. It's a pretty nice day out. Hardly a cloud in the sky. And everyone's making like it's Hurricane Floyd (1999) all over again.

We decide to make it a movie night. First up was Layer Cake, a pretty good British gangster flick starring Daniel Craig (the recent James Bond) and Colm Meaney (best known as the transporter chief and handyman from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine). I love seeing Star Trek actors curse, drink, do drugs, or otherwise engage in behaviour they never would on a G/PG television program.

Then we watched WWE Friday Night SmackDown! on the DVR. Decent show, but it sucks Mick Foley's no longer on commentary, I loved his personal style. And that Edge is taking a break (read: Undertaker sent him to Hell at Summerslam), he always puts on a good show. Undertaker's uber-awesome dramatic entry was interrupted by a storm update, which of course we skipped because it was by then three hours outdated. We got treated to a pretty good match between MVP and Shelton Benjamin, two heels who usually put on good matches. Jeff Hardy's talents got wasted on a mostly worthless act they call "The Brian Kendrick". The guy's got talent, but in trying to build him as a heel, they just have him steal matches. Boring. Shelton Benjamin is a heel and still puts on good matches, but then he's established. Main event sucked - long story short, Triple H got punk'd by half the locker room. Boring. He still pinned Khali after a Pedigree. Oh, and there were a couple Diva matches.

Checked the weather again. Nothing too big, still pretty calm.

Next movie up, Ready to Rumble. SmackDown! didn't really fulfill our pro wrestling fix, so we watched this 90 minute ad for WCW (WWE's competition in the 90s which they now own). Pretty good movie along the lines of Joe Dirt. A couple of losers travel 3 hours to see a taping of WCW Monday Nitro only to see their hero lose his title, so they track him down and find out he's an even bigger loser than they are, but they don't give up, ultimately taking him to Las Vegas in an attempt to win his belt (and respect) back. It was better than I thought it would be at the start - and half an hour in. For a while it was looking pretty bad. I'm not sure if it gives a better or worse depiction of pro wrestling than exists in reality. I really need to read more books on the backstage politics and technical side; while I do enjoy watching as a fan, I'm much more interested in the production of the show. (Yes, I'd love to work for WWE - just as a tech guy though. Meeting some of the legends and superstars wouldn't be a bad bonus either.)

So anyway, movie ends and my wife pretty much declares the storm a no-show and heads to bed. And here I am, 6:30 in the morning, typing away the PG-side of the night's events. I'm hearing a bit of wind outside, but looking at wunderground.com's live radar, which is even better than what they show on TV (Google Maps with a live radar = pure win) and it looks like TS Hanna went farther inland than originally anticipated. It's probably pretty wet in Raleigh, and Greenville might be seeing some drippage, but it's still mostly dry here. We've had some light rain.

Here's a screenshot of wunderground's map, with some notes of my own.



The red circles is about where TS Hanna hit land, just south of Wilmington. I think technically the eye of the storm landed on our side of the border, but I'm not sure. Close enough anyway, and I'm sure Myrtle Beach (SC city/tourist trap just south of the border) got hit with some rainfall earlier. It actually hasn't reached Raleigh yet, but should any time now. The thin red lines are my guesses (from having watched it all night) as to where the worst of it will go. The red star (directly south of Washington) is approximately where we are. Chocowinity, NC - zip code 27817 - if you'd like to look it up.

We will get wet by the time it's passed us by, but it won't be as bad as we thought.

What we have to worry about is Hurricane Ike, which is right behind Hanna. Earlier I mentioned Hurricane Floyd, but people who were here when that hit said it wasn't even that bad, it's just that it too was right behind another hurricane, Dennis, so the one-two punch is what did the damage. We've got a tropical storm followed by a hurricane followed by a tropical storm (Josephine's the third one). And of course it all depends on what path they will follow when they reach us. Experts are almost certain it'll hit Florida, but the question is whether it will follow the Atlantic seaboard up and hit the Carolinas or continue through the Gulf and tear up the Gulf states. And then there's Josephine, can't forget about that one.

It's not too tough tracking the storms, really. You see these guys on TV and they sound so smart, but nowadays Joe Citizen has access to many of the same resources. You can use the more popular weather.com (The Weather Channel) but I find wunderground.com to be more direct, easier to get at the relevant information for a quick drive-by check. Or you can be a real nerd and check both. But tracking storms isn't the important part, preparing for them is. Both phones charged, we have water, we have food, we have flashlights. As long as we have power, we can watch the news or go online for information, but if we lose power, we have the Net on our phones. No live radar or any bells and whistles, but we can get basic info.

So to our friends and family, we're safe from Hanna, I think it's safe to say. Ike and Josephine though... we'll have to keep you posted on that. (And that strong wind I heard earlier is gone now.)

Last note: It's coming a little more to the east now, but rather than Raleigh getting the eye, I think it's going to pass through Wilson. Not too far off. Greenville isn't going to fare much worse than I initially thought, and we still look clear. But I'm only seeing the front band, or arm making a huge arc to the west, from Fayetteville through Chapel Hill and up into Richmond, VA. There should be a trailing band or arm that will probably slap us later in the day, but that should be weaker.

No longer supporting terrorism

It was perhaps too harsh, an ad which ran shortly after the 9/11 attacks; I don't know who sponsored the ad, but it basically said that buying gasoline was the direct equivalent of supporting terrorism. The backlash was huge, the ad got pulled - but dammit, it had a point. We have to buy gas - unless you live in Chicago or New York City or a few other cities where public transportation can be a viable alternative to driving, you must use a car to get to and from work, to do so many things that have become a part of our daily lives. And the gas, of course, comes from the Middle East. Or... does it?

There's been an email going around, also as a bulletin on MySpace and other social networking sites, and other blogs have posted it as well. It claims to be from a petroleum-industry insider who's "fed up" with high gas prices and sits down to share some tips to save money at the pump. Sounds too good to be true... well, it is. It's chock full of lies. What's true and what's not I don't know, but when it said who buys their gas from the Middle East and who does not, I found an error. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it prompted me to head over to the Department of Energy's website. That site is a bloody mess, but after about 30 minutes of research, I found the list the email promised I'd find: A list of all the major oil companies, and how much (if any) oil they buy from the Middle East. That proved the email a hoax, because many gas companies (like Hess - what we call "Trade Mart" here in the South) were listed in the email as not buying gas from the Middle East, while the Department of Energy clearly states that they do.

There are two gas companies around here which, according to the Department of Energy, do not buy any gas from the Middle East: Shell and BP. So, as of a month or so ago, I decided to buy my gas exclusively from Shell and BP whenever possible. (When you're on the road, sometimes your choices are limited.) I've found that there are Shell stations right on my way to and from work.

Now, whether buying gas from the Middle East constitutes supporting terrorism is highly debatable - and I'm certainly not saying that everyone who does get their gas from a station that buys from the Middle East is supporting terrorism, I'm just saying that I'm now sure that I'm not supporting terrorism. I spend about $200 a month on gas, that's about $2400 a year, and I've decided to take that $2400 away from the Middle East and give it to, well, I don't know who, I just know it's not who we're currently at war with. It might be a country that doesn't like the US much, whatever, but it's not from a region in which American troops are being killed or injured on a daily basis.

Some would argue that most of the Middle East gas comes from Saudi Arabia, and that the Saudis are our friends. They may be on good terms with us, but just last week President Bush went to the Saudi king and told him how gas prices are hurting the American people, and asked if he could please take action to get the prices lowered. The Saudi king politely told Bush "no". Again, I'm not entirely sure and I'm not saying that the Saudis are supporting terrorism - I don't know nearly enough about the region and its politics to make that kind of call. (And for the record, I harbour no ill will towards Arabs, living here or over there - unless, of course, they're fighting American troops.) I'm just making a safety call and buying gas elsewhere.

And some would argue that the high gas prices are not a result of the Gulf War II aka the War on Terror, but look - gas was under $1 a gallon before 9/11. I can understand inflation - $2 a gallon is fair, I suppose. But nearly $4 is ridiculous, and anyone saying the prices more than doubling in the last 12-24 months is not a result of our country's actions overseas is overlooking something. I know there's a lot about the fuel industry I don't know, but I know gas prices have doubled as the War on Terror has (more or less) turned in our favour. Call it coincidence - I sure don't.

I don't urge my readers to buy from Shell. That would put me in the same boat as the con artist who wrote the email forward. Rather, I urge you to hit up the Department of Energy's website and find that list yourself, and make a list of gas stations who don't buy from the Middle East, and then strike out gas stations which aren't in your area, and then only buy from those gas stations. In World War II, women back home (this was, of course, before women were allowed to serve in the Armed Forces) supported the war effort by, among other things, taking up their husbands', brothers', and fathers' jobs back home, kept the economy going. Nowadays, those of us (of either gender) who aren't serving in the Armed Forces can support the war effort, by buying gas that doesn't come from the Middle East.

Know your rights during a police encounter

Hey all, I know it's been a long time, but I've been busy. This month marks one year this blog has been up, and I'd like to get into posting more stuff. Natually a lot of it will involve video, whether created by me or found online, as online video is one of the best perks of having broadband (overlooking the world of BitTorrent, that is).

This video falls into the latter category, found online. Not sure how I found it - one minute I was looking at Deus Ex videos, next thing I know I came across this - and watched all 45 minutes of it. (I thought YouTube videos could only be 10 minutes, guess I was wrong.)



Watch and enjoy... and pass the link along to your friends and family. Also remember what the video says: laws vary from place to place, so make sure you know your local laws as well.

It's been two years?

Two years ago today, Friday the 16th of September 2005, I arrived in the state of North Carolina, after two prior visits, but this time in my own car with everything I owned then in the back, this time to stay. It doesn't quite seem like two years, but I guess a lot has happened.

First of all, the trip. Five days, California to North Carolina, mostly along Interstate 40. I was riding with Bob, a friend of my mom's from work, an old hippie who had been from one end of the country to the other several times, on trains, in cars, in buses, even on his thumb. I don't think I could have asked for a better travel companion. We left Santa Rosa, CA - my hometown of most of 25 years - around noon on Monday of that week, the 12th I guess it would have been. We traveled south on Highway 101 to San Rafael, took the Richmond Bridge to 540, which we took to I-5, that big main road that runs down the middle of the state. We took that road down to Bakersfield, CA (hometown of the band KoRn, if you care) and took a little detour to Barstow, CA, to catch I-40 there. (Google said to drive into Los Angeles and catch it there. I knew better. Even if the streets of LA would have been empty, I think I still would have saved us time.) We stopped in Kingman, AZ, fulfilling my vow of not stopping until we were out of the Golden State.

We stopped Tuesday night in Santa Rosa, NM - had to, you know, for the gimmick and all. Wednesday night we stayed at my aunt Patty's place in Texas, near Dallas. We had to take a little detour to get down that way, and drove through a heck of a storm. Two tornados, more rain than I'd seen before or since - good thing Bob was driving, for the experience. Thursday, well, the plan was to stop in Memphis, TN, but for some reason we didn't. Against Bob's better advice we pressed on, spending our night crossing the great state of Tennessee, and arriving in North Carolina around noon. We finally got out here at around 10pm.

We got lost only three times. First in Nashville, TN, because construction had obscured a sign we needed. Second, Raleigh, NC, because of the damned beltline system - the way the highway is, it's impossible to get anywhere if you don't know how it works. Third, Greenville, NC, because I was too shortsighted to get a map showing us how to get from there to my new home. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I thought because I had been in the passenger seat for a couple trips to Greenville a year ago for one trip and four months ago for the other, that I would miraculously find my way from anywhere in Greenville, to home. Thing is, we came out by the hospital, and I wasn't even familiar with that part of town. If nothing else, I should have had her sister's number, her mother's number, someone there (here, now) that I could call to get in. I couldn't even tell you how we found our way. What we should have done is found the Cracker Barrel in Greenville and hung out there until they closed, then nearby until Jen got off work, and called her. But we found it 2 hours before she got off, and had most of my stuff unloaded by the time she got home.

Ah, the memories. When I came out here, I was fairly limited in what I could do. Out-of-state registration and insurance is no good, for more than 30 days. The only identification I had was a California drivers license, which didn't mean squat in NC. (Well, it meant I could drive, of course, but it wasn't quite as official.) And I'd lost my Social Security card years ago. First thing we did was go to Jen's insurance company and get me and my car added to her policy. We set it up so I could drive her car and she could drive mine. Then I had to get a new Social Security card, which took a couple weeks itself. Then, my NC drivers license, for which I only had to pass a verbal exam, identifying road signs. Piece of cake. Then registering my car with NC, and getting my NC license plate. By mid-October 2005, my identification and car were all NC registered and licensed.

I've actually had three jobs since I got out here. First was at this place we call Mega Farce. It's really Mega Force, but I don't take them very seriously, despite what may be their best efforts. They're a temp agency, they place people at jobs who need temporary help. The ladies in the office were nice enough. They placed me at the factory Jen works at. Cool deal, except I had to work 12 hour shifts, 3 days a week, 5am to 5pm, and NC doesn't have daily overtime. You can only get overtime if you clear 40 hours in a week, unlike in CA where you can score overtime for working more than 8 hours in a day. I worked my ass off for three or four weeks. I did my job the best I could, and when there wasn't any work, I went looking for work. I cleaned racks. I mopped. I swept. I did my best to keep busy and make a good impression. Then one day they tell me I'm not needed anymore, and send me home maybe 2 hours after I'd gotten there. Couple weeks later, I got another temp assignment with a rent-to-own company. It was only a 3 day gig, but I had a lot of fun, had some good adventures. I assembled only two things, but I moved stuff around, I cleaned the showroom once, but most of my day involved delivering stuff for people, and picking up stuff people were done with or could no longer pay for. I almost dropped an expensive big-screen TV on one such trip. Learned a little about the geography of the local area, too.

Then I called up my old job. Same people I worked for in California. They're out here, too, just not nearby. I ended up talking to the office in Wilmington (which is the very end of Interstate 40 on this side, actually) but as luck would have it, got to fill out paperwork at the Raleigh office, which is a little closer. Three mornings I had to be in the state capital 2 hours away at 8am. The first day I was there all day. The second day I was there an hour and a half. No joke. Third day was a half day, so until about noon or so. Why they couldn't just transfer me from CA is beyond me. I guess it'd been too long, but that's slack to not keep records longer than a couple months. (They said the cutoff time to make it a transfer is 30 days.) And that's what I've been doing ever since.

You're right. I didn't post who I work for. I am intentionally vague about certain details.

The coast to coast trip wasn't my only driving experience. For our holiday vacation in 2005 and 2006 I drove to Connecticut and back, going through Virginia, Maryland/DC (didn't stop and see the White House or anything though), Delaware (no sales tax), New Jersey, and New York (about 22 miles of NYC). For our honeymoon, we drove to Tennessee and back. Parts I hadn't seen on the way out, too. Our first anniversary took us to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina - so now I've been to both Carolinas.

Speaking of a honeymoon and an anniversary, I participated in a wedding - as the groom. It was such a great experience, but I hope I never do it again. Jen's such a good woman, were anything to happen to her, I can't see another woman filling her shoes. For such a shorty, she has some awful big shoes to fill.

Another experience, bizarre sicknesses. Sort of. I don't know if it's because I moved, but I've found myself ailed by a couple things I'd never heard of before but were very familiar to medical personnel out here. First in 2006, I thought I had a giant bruise on my right leg. Turned out to be a skin condition called Cellultis. We're still paying for the treatment - about $1100. Ouch! And that's to get it looked at and the pills to get it taken care of. Then I got what I assumed to be a spider bite, but turned out to be an "ulceration" caused by poor circulation. I'm still getting that taken care of. Now I have something called a plantar wart on my left foot, and I can't even walk now. At least not until it heals.

Can't forget food. My mom's a good cook, but she didn't let me do much in the kitchen. I pretty much watched her, sometimes. All I ever made for myself was macaroni & cheese, and the occasional sandwich. Jen has taken my passion for cooking and let it run wild - when we're both off, I'm the one who cooks. She introduced me to my favorite food - chicken and sausage Jambalaya - and I'm still tweaking the recipe (although I'm quite happy with where it's at now). The next iteration of it will be sausage and shrimp Jambalaya for Jen, her mom, and her mom's boyfriend. I've also developed my own pasta recipe, although I'm not quite happy with it. The taste is fine, but I always make too much. I need to cut back. There are other minor kinks I need to work out. As far as eating, Jen likes Chinese food more than my mom (who liked it, too) so I get a lot of that. Not Jen, but a buddy from work, introduced me to General Tso's chicken, and I'm hooked. And my mom always hated seafood, despite my dad's best intentions. I was raised to believe that seafood was bad for some reason. Well, Jen's a big fan of that, too, so she's exposed me to some good stuff. I still don't like shrimp, but I do like crab legs, lobster, salmon if it's made right, and talapia. I'm no fan of any seafood dish, but I'll eat it.

So what are our plans for the next two years? Well, I'd like to get Jen pregnant. We've been working on that for a while. I want to be a father now more than ever. "Baby fever" is an understatement. Other than that, 2008 will be a year of saving, as I do want to be a homeowner, if not by 30 (I think chances of that are low), then by 35. In any case, our kids won't grow up in this dump. ;)