There's nothing like a good mystery, especially when it's about something cool, like music, more so if it's about a band we like. I'm sure there are a lot more, but I'm going to look at three of varying degrees of importance.
1. November Rain
The most interesting music mystery I've found is the secrets of the "November Rain" video by Guns n' Roses. A brief history lesson, if you don't mind: In the mid-1980s, Guns n' Roses exploded onto the rock scene with "Appetite for Destruction", still considered a great album 23 years later. Between that and the lesser-known "GnR Lies!" album, Guns n' Roses rose above most hair metal bands (though not enough to be pretentious). That changed with their double album, "Use Your Illusion", volumes 1 and 2. Three videos were done for the double album that were a little different than the other videos, and they were sort of linked, though it wasn't clear why. The strangest one was "November Rain".
Summary of the November Rain video: Tossing and turning in bed, Axl Rose wakes up from what seems like a terrible nightmare. He takes a drink of water and settles back down into bed. We see a symphony playing in an opera hall, and then a wedding, Axl Rose marrying real-life girlfriend Stephanie Seymour. Immediately after the kissing of the bride, guitarist Slash gets up and leaves, performing a wicked solo in the desert. As the couple leave, the newlywed bride looks unhappy. There's an afterparty, which is washed out by rain. Back in the opera hall, Axl, who was playing piano, changes the tune, and Slash gets up on top of the piano to jam. All of a sudden we're back in the church and there's a funeral - for the wife. A quick shot of the open casket shows nothing wrong, makes you wonder how she died, and why. The video ends with Axl crying over her grave, and the ominous note, "Based on the short story Without You by Del James".
Here's where things get interesting. Del James is a friend of Axl's, and as it would come to turn out, they worked together on the video. "Without You" is a short story about a band which is based on Guns n' Roses. Problem is, James' book, "The Language of Fear" was never published widely. After a run of just a couple hundred copies, the publisher went out of business. eBay was new then, and the few existing copies of the book went for hundreds of dollars. For the better part of 15 years, the meaning of November Rain remained a mystery. Axl wasn't saying anything, and the people making a killing on eBay weren't about to threaten their own livelihood by letting others in on it for free. To know, you had to pony up the cash and buy the book, read it, and then hope to make some of your money back. Every few months I'd search for it, and always come up empty.
Well, finally, somebody broke the silence and posted the entire short story online, including Axl's introduction he wrote for the book. The story follows a band called Suicide Solution and its crazy vocalist Mayne Mann, based on Guns n' Roses and Axl Rose. The band's success story mirrors that of GnR - crazy hair metal band puts out a rock ballad which changes everything for them - GnR's was November Rain; Suicide Solution's was Without You. In the story, Mann is newly married (like in the video) but the band is on tour. Mann calls his wife and asks if she'll come along for the last leg of the tour. She says no, she has a life of her own (she's a model or something). Last show on the tour, Mann's got a couple groupies in his bed, and there's a knock at the door. His wife thought to surprise him, but got a surprise of her own. So she went home, put "Without You" on on the stereo, and blew her brains out. Mann gets home, sets the place on fire, and plays along on the piano as his home burns around him. It's a really cool story, actually, and it's told from his point of view.
But wait, Stephanie Seymour didn't blow her brains out in the video. She was clean in the casket - it was an open casket funeral. But here's where things get interesting. Watch the best quality copy you can find of that video, and freeze-frame on the open casket. You'll notice there's a mirror installed. You can only see half of her; the other half is behind that mirror. Funeral homes can do a lot for a corpse, but sometimes damage is too extensive, and that's why we often have closed-casket wakes and funerals when the deceased died a violent death. However, for celebrities, public figures, open-casket is ideal, so they have reconstruction technologies which will pass a passive examination by grieving relatives. The mirror clearly indicates only that half of the body (most likely the face) was able to be reconstructed at all.
So there you have it. The November Rain mystery solved. There was more to the story than the video let on. The wedding and funeral were not on the same day. They were shown as such to illustrate the importance of the two events and to show that what happened in between doesn't matter (as much). He cheated on her with a groupie or a pair of groupies, and she blew her brains out. (Like Axl's worth it! But that's another matter.) And somehow, "Estranged" and "Don't Cry" tie in as well.
At some point I'll do #2, and it concerns a more recent band, though a significantly less important one.
Showing posts with label Myth/Mystery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Myth/Mystery. Show all posts
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, June 30, 2007
The "Deaths" of two legendary wrestlers
One faked, one very real...
On the June 11 episode of Monday Night RAW, some viewers saw a cropped ending where Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman points a depressed Vince McMahon (WWE Chairman) to his limo, and it cuts as he walks toward it. International audiences and some American audiences saw it continue: Vince lets himself into the limo, and just as he shuts the door, the limo explodes. Of course, in real life, Vince McMahon isn't dead, but his character, Mr. McMahon, is.
The WWE follow a practice called kayfabe, which is basically taking a fictional environment to the next level; for all intents and purposes, they live out their characters in public and pretend, even off the show, that they are the character they portray. In fact it's very seldom that the "real person" and the character differ at all; this is called "breaking kayfabe" and it's pretty much the industry's highest sin. They'll bend it - for example when Eddie Guerrero died in late 2005, rivals put on a match and shook hands afterward. Or when they go to the Middle East, they'll often ignore these rules. So while these people pretty much all get along in real life (they do work together), they maintain certain rivalries - like any show, just carried out further. If you look up kayfabe on Wikipedia and read the article (or click kayfabe here or above) you'll understand it a bit more.
The obvious primary subject was the subject of McMahon's aforementioned depression, then ECW (a former rival federation, now the third WWE brand, after Smackdown) Champion Bobby Lashley, who had just about slaughtered McMahon in a street fight (no disqualifications, win by 3-second pin inside the ring), even after WWE monster personality Umaga interfered, as well as Vince's kayfabe and real life son Shane. The night McMahon "died" was the WWE Draft, where performers/personalities were moved across brands at "random" (random in kayfabe but of course predetermined) and Lashley was moved from ECW to RAW, forcing him to drop his title with no contest. So he was suspected. On the night of June 18, a "federal investigator" (aka, an actor playing one) had interviewed various wrestlers but had not named any suspects.
Internet rumor has it that on June 25, the investigator was supposed to arrest Vince's wife Linda. Also according to Internet rumor, it was going to end up being pinned on Triple H, who has been out on injury since January and is supposed to return "sometime this summer". We do know (from an interview, I guess) that behind the scenes, Vince had persuaded his daughter Stephanie to name him the father of her child, born last year. (Triple H is in real life, the father; within kayfabe the father is still unknown.) She flat out refused him, so he suggested Shane, her brother. She refused that as well - but this was months ago. The rumors go that Triple H was going to find out Vince was the father (in kayfabe) and thus had him killed. Besides Vince himself, no one has been more of a heel (villian) than Triple H, and what better way to bring him back than the greatest possible "push" they could come up with?
But what they were supposed to do with the Vince storyline doesn't matter, because on June 25, RAW started with Vince in the ring, announcing that while they were supposed to be continuing the story of his own demise, they had recently (within a few hours) been surprised with a real-life tragedy: the death of Canadian wrestler Chris Benoit. All they knew at that point was that he, his wife, and 7 year old son had been killed, and gunshots were ruled out. So they dedicated the entire 3 hour timeslot to a massive Benoit tribute. Rightfully so, as he was one of the greatest wrestlers they lost. It wouldn't be fair to compare him to others, such as Andre the Giant, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Owen Hart, but he was most certainly Legend material, had more than earned himself a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame.
However, on the morning of Tuesday the 26th, more facts came to light. Investigators (real ones this time) decided that Benoit strangled his wife on Saturday in their Atlanta home, then watched the Vengeance Pay-Per-View with his son on Sunday (which he called out of due to "personal reasons"), smothered his son with a pillow, and finally on Monday, hanged himself from his home exercise machine. (Some of these dates may be wrong as they are currently in dispute.) Chris Benoit was replaced on Sunday by Johnny Nitro, who beat CM Punk to take the ECW title (which had been vacated by Lashley; Punk didn't hold it). So we can assume that the script called for Benoit to win that match. Vince again appeared on the Tuesday night show, ECW, saying that the current mention would be the last time Benoit's name was mentioned on their show. He apologized for "wasting" a 3 hour segment on a murderer, and vowed to begin the healing process by putting on a great show.
But even though the WWE is washing their hands of Benoit, the media sure isn't. More and more details are coming out each day. The latest is that they believe Benoit's perscribed steroids/stimulants drove him to "snap" in what they call "roid rage". Apparently, he placed a Bible beside the bodies of his wife and son - no note was left. Oddly, there was a mention of text messages he sent somebody shortly before taking his own life, but all they did was give his home address, and one stated that the dogs were locked up and which door he left unlocked. The strangest aspect, however, is that somebody edited Chris Benoit's Wikipedia page at 12:01AM Monday morning, about 14 hours before the bodies were discovered, to say that Benoit bailed on the Pay-Per-View because of the death of his wife. Wikipedia officials traced the IP to Stamford, CT - home of WWE headquarters. The WWE is denying any knowledge, of course, but apparently the Wikipedia editor noted on Wikinews that the death was a rumor going around. But somebody in Connecticut, presumably at the WWE, knew that Benoit's wife was killed 14 hours before anybody else but Benoit himself did.
Personally, I don't know what to think beyond being intrigued by the mysteries surrounding the case. I had great respect for Benoit, but had only seen him in action once or twice. As long as I've been watching wrestling (since late 2005), Benoit's been on the Smackdown brand, which is on Friday nights from 8pm to 10pm. I start work at 10pm but it takes a half hour to get there, and I don't have cable, so I just miss it every week I work. On the draft, Benoit was transferred to ECW, which I enjoyed because I'd be able to see him as I'm off Tuesdays. On the ECW episode immediately following the draft, he defeated Elijah Burke (one of the brand's most talented new performers) to earn the right to face CM Punk for the title vacated by Bobby Lashley. This was five days before the Pay-Per-View he called out of.
I see a lot of people on the Net real quick to condemn Benoit, but most of them had been supporting Benoit until they learned the truth. Personally, I feel as though his accomplishments as a wrestler should be held separate from his personal life, because up until now that's pretty much all he was. I didn't know anything about his personal life. And while it's terrible what he's done, I can't help but think of him as the legend he's always been. I think it's a shame (though I do understand) that the WWE isn't going to acknowledge him and (they implied) he won't be in the WWE Hall of Fame. I think after a few years, a decade, whatever, he should get the recognition he deserves by his peers in the industry he'd dedicated about 20 years of his life to. I don't think that would dishonor the memories of his wife and son.
Looking in my (very small) collection of wrestling DVDs, I see I only have one Chris Benoit match, vs. MVP for the US Championship at Wrestlemania 23, a match he won to retain the title. I think I'll watch it again at some point in the near future.
On the June 11 episode of Monday Night RAW, some viewers saw a cropped ending where Executive Assistant Jonathan Coachman points a depressed Vince McMahon (WWE Chairman) to his limo, and it cuts as he walks toward it. International audiences and some American audiences saw it continue: Vince lets himself into the limo, and just as he shuts the door, the limo explodes. Of course, in real life, Vince McMahon isn't dead, but his character, Mr. McMahon, is.
The WWE follow a practice called kayfabe, which is basically taking a fictional environment to the next level; for all intents and purposes, they live out their characters in public and pretend, even off the show, that they are the character they portray. In fact it's very seldom that the "real person" and the character differ at all; this is called "breaking kayfabe" and it's pretty much the industry's highest sin. They'll bend it - for example when Eddie Guerrero died in late 2005, rivals put on a match and shook hands afterward. Or when they go to the Middle East, they'll often ignore these rules. So while these people pretty much all get along in real life (they do work together), they maintain certain rivalries - like any show, just carried out further. If you look up kayfabe on Wikipedia and read the article (or click kayfabe here or above) you'll understand it a bit more.
The obvious primary subject was the subject of McMahon's aforementioned depression, then ECW (a former rival federation, now the third WWE brand, after Smackdown) Champion Bobby Lashley, who had just about slaughtered McMahon in a street fight (no disqualifications, win by 3-second pin inside the ring), even after WWE monster personality Umaga interfered, as well as Vince's kayfabe and real life son Shane. The night McMahon "died" was the WWE Draft, where performers/personalities were moved across brands at "random" (random in kayfabe but of course predetermined) and Lashley was moved from ECW to RAW, forcing him to drop his title with no contest. So he was suspected. On the night of June 18, a "federal investigator" (aka, an actor playing one) had interviewed various wrestlers but had not named any suspects.
Internet rumor has it that on June 25, the investigator was supposed to arrest Vince's wife Linda. Also according to Internet rumor, it was going to end up being pinned on Triple H, who has been out on injury since January and is supposed to return "sometime this summer". We do know (from an interview, I guess) that behind the scenes, Vince had persuaded his daughter Stephanie to name him the father of her child, born last year. (Triple H is in real life, the father; within kayfabe the father is still unknown.) She flat out refused him, so he suggested Shane, her brother. She refused that as well - but this was months ago. The rumors go that Triple H was going to find out Vince was the father (in kayfabe) and thus had him killed. Besides Vince himself, no one has been more of a heel (villian) than Triple H, and what better way to bring him back than the greatest possible "push" they could come up with?
But what they were supposed to do with the Vince storyline doesn't matter, because on June 25, RAW started with Vince in the ring, announcing that while they were supposed to be continuing the story of his own demise, they had recently (within a few hours) been surprised with a real-life tragedy: the death of Canadian wrestler Chris Benoit. All they knew at that point was that he, his wife, and 7 year old son had been killed, and gunshots were ruled out. So they dedicated the entire 3 hour timeslot to a massive Benoit tribute. Rightfully so, as he was one of the greatest wrestlers they lost. It wouldn't be fair to compare him to others, such as Andre the Giant, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Owen Hart, but he was most certainly Legend material, had more than earned himself a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame.
However, on the morning of Tuesday the 26th, more facts came to light. Investigators (real ones this time) decided that Benoit strangled his wife on Saturday in their Atlanta home, then watched the Vengeance Pay-Per-View with his son on Sunday (which he called out of due to "personal reasons"), smothered his son with a pillow, and finally on Monday, hanged himself from his home exercise machine. (Some of these dates may be wrong as they are currently in dispute.) Chris Benoit was replaced on Sunday by Johnny Nitro, who beat CM Punk to take the ECW title (which had been vacated by Lashley; Punk didn't hold it). So we can assume that the script called for Benoit to win that match. Vince again appeared on the Tuesday night show, ECW, saying that the current mention would be the last time Benoit's name was mentioned on their show. He apologized for "wasting" a 3 hour segment on a murderer, and vowed to begin the healing process by putting on a great show.
But even though the WWE is washing their hands of Benoit, the media sure isn't. More and more details are coming out each day. The latest is that they believe Benoit's perscribed steroids/stimulants drove him to "snap" in what they call "roid rage". Apparently, he placed a Bible beside the bodies of his wife and son - no note was left. Oddly, there was a mention of text messages he sent somebody shortly before taking his own life, but all they did was give his home address, and one stated that the dogs were locked up and which door he left unlocked. The strangest aspect, however, is that somebody edited Chris Benoit's Wikipedia page at 12:01AM Monday morning, about 14 hours before the bodies were discovered, to say that Benoit bailed on the Pay-Per-View because of the death of his wife. Wikipedia officials traced the IP to Stamford, CT - home of WWE headquarters. The WWE is denying any knowledge, of course, but apparently the Wikipedia editor noted on Wikinews that the death was a rumor going around. But somebody in Connecticut, presumably at the WWE, knew that Benoit's wife was killed 14 hours before anybody else but Benoit himself did.
Personally, I don't know what to think beyond being intrigued by the mysteries surrounding the case. I had great respect for Benoit, but had only seen him in action once or twice. As long as I've been watching wrestling (since late 2005), Benoit's been on the Smackdown brand, which is on Friday nights from 8pm to 10pm. I start work at 10pm but it takes a half hour to get there, and I don't have cable, so I just miss it every week I work. On the draft, Benoit was transferred to ECW, which I enjoyed because I'd be able to see him as I'm off Tuesdays. On the ECW episode immediately following the draft, he defeated Elijah Burke (one of the brand's most talented new performers) to earn the right to face CM Punk for the title vacated by Bobby Lashley. This was five days before the Pay-Per-View he called out of.
I see a lot of people on the Net real quick to condemn Benoit, but most of them had been supporting Benoit until they learned the truth. Personally, I feel as though his accomplishments as a wrestler should be held separate from his personal life, because up until now that's pretty much all he was. I didn't know anything about his personal life. And while it's terrible what he's done, I can't help but think of him as the legend he's always been. I think it's a shame (though I do understand) that the WWE isn't going to acknowledge him and (they implied) he won't be in the WWE Hall of Fame. I think after a few years, a decade, whatever, he should get the recognition he deserves by his peers in the industry he'd dedicated about 20 years of his life to. I don't think that would dishonor the memories of his wife and son.
Looking in my (very small) collection of wrestling DVDs, I see I only have one Chris Benoit match, vs. MVP for the US Championship at Wrestlemania 23, a match he won to retain the title. I think I'll watch it again at some point in the near future.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Music Mystery #1: November Rain
If you're my age or older, chances are at some point, you have heard the Guns n' Roses song "November Rain". It was a very popular song when it came out in 1990-1991 with heavy radio play. Perhaps you've even seen the music video, which came out in 1991, I believe. The song was popular for at least a couple years, but pretty much faded from most radio stations in the mid-to-late nineties. Nowadays it's mostly forgotten and overlooked, but I firmly believe after 20-30 years of it being out, it'll be remembered as a classic. Matter of fact, Guns n' Roses are one of the bands from that time that will be remembered, right along with Metallica. Back when they still had their hair, were true to their roots, and were basically in their prime - but Metallica is a story for another day. Anyway, back to November Rain, the video for which was a mystery for over 10 years to most people - and sadly the mystery was forgotten, as it was never solved within the song's reign on the charts. But I reveal it to you here. I've posted it before, and that post (I had it saved for quick posting) was copied by others, so maybe you have heard this, or even read it. Well, here it is again. Not copied from the original, but completely rewritten.
Not sure you've seen the video? Maybe this will jog your memory. Axl Rose awakens from what appears to be a nightmare. We see a huge opera house (I guess that's what you'd call it) with a crowd watching Guns n' Roses perform on-stage. Axl is on piano, and they have a symphony with them. We see a wedding, between Axl and model Stephanie Seymour, to whom he was really married for some time. The video goes through the wedding, and after Axl kisses Stephanie, guitarist Slashs steps outside and performs a wicked solo in the desert, the camera all over the place. Guitarists love this part. It goes back to the opera house from time to time, and then back to the happy couple, now at the reception. Everyone's having a good time, and I swear Pierce Brosnan (ex-James Bond actor) was a waiter, though I don't think IMDb agrees with me. At some point it starts raining, and everyone runs like people started shooting (but no violence is seen). A dude dives over a table through the wedding cake. Red wine runs down a white table cloth. The VERY next scene, back to the opera house, song slows down - this is before the heavy part at the end - and Slash gets up on the piano and lets 'er rip. We see Axl in a pew, same church (I think), in tears, and pallbearers are carrying a coffin down the aisle. We see Stephanie in the casket, unmarked and undamaged but very dead. Axl's in tears, the priest says some words, they have the funeral. It ends with Axl alone at the grave. Flash back to Stephanie as a happy bride throwing the bouquet, fade to the coffin - the roses, once red, bleed out to white. The picture fades and "Based on the short story "Without You" by Del James pops up.
If you're asking what the problem is, it's this: We aren't told why Stephanie dies or how she died. There are clues, but they're vague. When the car pulls away from the church, the couple making their getaway, and Stephanie briefly looks at the camera and her face just says "this is the beginning of the end" or perhaps "now I'm stuck with him"; "now my fate is sealed". Shortly after, a figure is seen walking into a store, camera pulls back and it says GUNS above. But I can't tell if it's Axl or Stephanie - their hair is about the same length and style, and they're of a similar build, and it's from the back, so you couldn't see breasts (or absence thereof), and the clothes are baggy, so you can't see figure.
Your first thought now might be "well, read the story". That's very insightful and not a bad idea, but there's a problem with that. Del James published a collection of short stories, called "The Language of Fear", out of a small publishing company in Scotland - which went bankrupt just after the book was published. In fact they got less than 1,000 copies out. This was when the Internet was young, at least to most people. One of eBay's early most-traded items must be this book. It sold for hundreds of dollars, even thousands at first. Because they wanted to read that one story. And those that did, never spoke a word of it. Because they knew if they answered the question everyone wanted to know, they wouldn't be able to sell it again and make some of their money back - maybe even a profit. Every few years I searched - first the search engines, and later those plus the filesharing networks.
Finally in 2003 the silence was broken, and one brave soul decided to post the text of the short story "Without You". (The rest of the book remains unavailable, last time I checked.) I got it, and have posted it on various forums. Some admins frown upon my doing so, but the legal rights to "Without You" are tangled up. The only people who have any complaint with the story being posted are the collectors, and they have no more right to dictate what happens with the story than I do. So I've read it, and I'll provide a link to it below.
Now, the following, I must warn you, is not safe for work and is not appropriate for children under 16. Profanity and descriptions of sex and violence. If this does not offend you, go ahead and read Del James' Without You, followed by parts of the foreword to "The Language of Fear", written by none other than Axl Rose. Whoever posted this, typed it - they didn't have a way of importing it automatically. There will be mistakes. I corrected those that Word had a problem with, but mostly I'm leaving it intact. If you are a Guns n' Roses fan, I encourage you to read it. Were it in the book, it would be at most 10 pages long. It's not written traditionally or conservatively at all. This isn't the kind of thing you read in school; it's not "Walden". It's not even like any bestseller - well, except maybe for Fight Club (the book, it's written just like the movie). Del James writes like you'd expect a rockstar to write. Give it a chance - it will hook you. (And if foul language offends you, read my own summary as follows.)
Read the story here.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JUST READ IT FOR YOURSELF SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH!
Basically the story is about a band called Suicide Solution, meant to be Guns n' Roses, and their vocalist, Mayne Mann, who is of course supposed to be Axl. Mayne has a girlfriend or wife, Elizabeth - you guessed it, she's Stephanie. So SS are on tour, and it's the last stop. A tour's last stop most often means one or both of two trends - first, that they end (and start) in their hometown; second, that it's the best show of the tour. Mayne wants to celebrate after the show with Elizabeth, but she's called out of town on business (I think she's a model, too). Mayne's mad, so he picks up a groupie after the show, and they're making magic in his hotel room. Matter of fact I think there are two girls, they're having a threesome. The drummer comes by, and Mayne offers him a girl; he turns him down. Then it turns out Elizabeth's trip was at the last moment. She finds out what room he's in, and goes there to surprise him. Mayne hears a knock, thinks his drummer is back, so he answers the door nude with a girl on each arm, nude as well. He's lookin right at his wife, and she takes off. He gets dressed and gives chase. She loses him, gets home, and when he finds her, she's playing "Without You" (which is the fictional "November Rain") at full volume on loop, and she's shot herself in the head
THESE 2 PARAGRAPHS CONTAIN SPOILERS TOO! READ ONLY AFTER READING THE STORY OR THE ABOVE SUMMARY!
From that, I assume that the band seen in the November Rain video was actually Suicide Solution, not Guns n' Roses. And that we're not seeing Axl and Stephanie marry, but Mayne and Elizabeth. And that Elizabeth dies and Mayne is mourning her. The nightmares are because he's haunted by his stupid mistake that cost him the woman he loved. I can't explain Elizabeth's look. Maybe she realized Mayne wasn't going to settle down, I dunno. But I believe it was Elizabeth who went to the gun store. As for the rain panic, I can't explain that. Maybe that was just their reaction to being rained on in their Sunday best.
And as for Elizabeth looking untouched in the coffin, this is another thing I found out (thanks to Amber from WI for pointing this out!): When the coffin is shown for the second time, if your copy of the video is high-quality, freeze frame it and you will see a mirror splitting the coffin, her left side hidden. And yes, you guessed it, a funeral home would do this to allow an open-casket funeral for someone whose face or body was damaged on one side. That about cinches the deal - she must have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, from the barrel being inserted into the mouth and the bullet traveling up and to the left, so she held the gun with her right hand. They cleaned up the right side, but the left side they couldn't fix. Hence the mirror.
OK, NO MORE "WITHOUT YOU" SPOILERS!
As I understand from watching "Making F'n Videos: November Rain", a documentary produced by Gn'R's label, Geffen, about the video. This revealed much more. Del James was a close personal friend of Axl Rose and the band itself. "Without You" was tied to more than just "November Rain". Two other Gn'R videos tied in as well: "Don't Cry" and "Estranged". I believe the order is Don't Cry - Estranged - November Rain, although the events in the videos are probably not in the right order. I have to wonder if Gn'R and Del James weren't going to make a movie containing the story, the events from those videos, and of course the song. It should also be noted that the last line in "Estranged" before the last chorus is, in fact, "Without You".
PS: In regards to the title, there will be another Music Mystery. It's about a more current band, but unless you're Jen and thus you know what it's going to be, you're going to have to wait and be surprised.
Links:
Use Your Illusion I by Guns n' Roses on Amazon.com
This album contains the original, studio version of November Rain.
Guns n' Roses: Welcome to the Videos DVD on Amazon.com
This DVD has most, but not all of their videos. November Rain is included. (Sadly, "You Could Be Mine" is not up here, but Don't Cry and Estranged are as well.) The quality is very high, so if you want to see the mirror in the casket, this is the way to go.
Guns n' Roses: Making F@*!Ing Videos, Vol. 2 VHS on Amazon.com
Sadly this is not available on DVD, but I found my copy on one filesharing network or another. If you have VHS, get this used because Amazon doesn't actually sell it themselves. I doubt it will be rereleased on DVD. I would like to discourage piracy, but if you want to see it, you do what you have to, right? If you want to stay on the straight and narrow with the law, you can always delete it when you're done watching it - no harm no foul, right? This awesome documentary covers all aspects of what I've been talking about and then some, plus it includes the video at the end.
The Language of Fear paperback by Del James on Amazon.com
Here is a link to the book. Currently the low price is $89.44 but that is subject to change. I want to read the rest of it, but I won't pay more than ten bucks.
The full text of Without You, and Axl's intro
I linked to this above but provide the link again for convenience.
Not sure you've seen the video? Maybe this will jog your memory. Axl Rose awakens from what appears to be a nightmare. We see a huge opera house (I guess that's what you'd call it) with a crowd watching Guns n' Roses perform on-stage. Axl is on piano, and they have a symphony with them. We see a wedding, between Axl and model Stephanie Seymour, to whom he was really married for some time. The video goes through the wedding, and after Axl kisses Stephanie, guitarist Slashs steps outside and performs a wicked solo in the desert, the camera all over the place. Guitarists love this part. It goes back to the opera house from time to time, and then back to the happy couple, now at the reception. Everyone's having a good time, and I swear Pierce Brosnan (ex-James Bond actor) was a waiter, though I don't think IMDb agrees with me. At some point it starts raining, and everyone runs like people started shooting (but no violence is seen). A dude dives over a table through the wedding cake. Red wine runs down a white table cloth. The VERY next scene, back to the opera house, song slows down - this is before the heavy part at the end - and Slash gets up on the piano and lets 'er rip. We see Axl in a pew, same church (I think), in tears, and pallbearers are carrying a coffin down the aisle. We see Stephanie in the casket, unmarked and undamaged but very dead. Axl's in tears, the priest says some words, they have the funeral. It ends with Axl alone at the grave. Flash back to Stephanie as a happy bride throwing the bouquet, fade to the coffin - the roses, once red, bleed out to white. The picture fades and "Based on the short story "Without You" by Del James pops up.
If you're asking what the problem is, it's this: We aren't told why Stephanie dies or how she died. There are clues, but they're vague. When the car pulls away from the church, the couple making their getaway, and Stephanie briefly looks at the camera and her face just says "this is the beginning of the end" or perhaps "now I'm stuck with him"; "now my fate is sealed". Shortly after, a figure is seen walking into a store, camera pulls back and it says GUNS above. But I can't tell if it's Axl or Stephanie - their hair is about the same length and style, and they're of a similar build, and it's from the back, so you couldn't see breasts (or absence thereof), and the clothes are baggy, so you can't see figure.
Your first thought now might be "well, read the story". That's very insightful and not a bad idea, but there's a problem with that. Del James published a collection of short stories, called "The Language of Fear", out of a small publishing company in Scotland - which went bankrupt just after the book was published. In fact they got less than 1,000 copies out. This was when the Internet was young, at least to most people. One of eBay's early most-traded items must be this book. It sold for hundreds of dollars, even thousands at first. Because they wanted to read that one story. And those that did, never spoke a word of it. Because they knew if they answered the question everyone wanted to know, they wouldn't be able to sell it again and make some of their money back - maybe even a profit. Every few years I searched - first the search engines, and later those plus the filesharing networks.
Finally in 2003 the silence was broken, and one brave soul decided to post the text of the short story "Without You". (The rest of the book remains unavailable, last time I checked.) I got it, and have posted it on various forums. Some admins frown upon my doing so, but the legal rights to "Without You" are tangled up. The only people who have any complaint with the story being posted are the collectors, and they have no more right to dictate what happens with the story than I do. So I've read it, and I'll provide a link to it below.
Now, the following, I must warn you, is not safe for work and is not appropriate for children under 16. Profanity and descriptions of sex and violence. If this does not offend you, go ahead and read Del James' Without You, followed by parts of the foreword to "The Language of Fear", written by none other than Axl Rose. Whoever posted this, typed it - they didn't have a way of importing it automatically. There will be mistakes. I corrected those that Word had a problem with, but mostly I'm leaving it intact. If you are a Guns n' Roses fan, I encourage you to read it. Were it in the book, it would be at most 10 pages long. It's not written traditionally or conservatively at all. This isn't the kind of thing you read in school; it's not "Walden". It's not even like any bestseller - well, except maybe for Fight Club (the book, it's written just like the movie). Del James writes like you'd expect a rockstar to write. Give it a chance - it will hook you. (And if foul language offends you, read my own summary as follows.)
Read the story here.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JUST READ IT FOR YOURSELF SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH!
Basically the story is about a band called Suicide Solution, meant to be Guns n' Roses, and their vocalist, Mayne Mann, who is of course supposed to be Axl. Mayne has a girlfriend or wife, Elizabeth - you guessed it, she's Stephanie. So SS are on tour, and it's the last stop. A tour's last stop most often means one or both of two trends - first, that they end (and start) in their hometown; second, that it's the best show of the tour. Mayne wants to celebrate after the show with Elizabeth, but she's called out of town on business (I think she's a model, too). Mayne's mad, so he picks up a groupie after the show, and they're making magic in his hotel room. Matter of fact I think there are two girls, they're having a threesome. The drummer comes by, and Mayne offers him a girl; he turns him down. Then it turns out Elizabeth's trip was at the last moment. She finds out what room he's in, and goes there to surprise him. Mayne hears a knock, thinks his drummer is back, so he answers the door nude with a girl on each arm, nude as well. He's lookin right at his wife, and she takes off. He gets dressed and gives chase. She loses him, gets home, and when he finds her, she's playing "Without You" (which is the fictional "November Rain") at full volume on loop, and she's shot herself in the head
THESE 2 PARAGRAPHS CONTAIN SPOILERS TOO! READ ONLY AFTER READING THE STORY OR THE ABOVE SUMMARY!
From that, I assume that the band seen in the November Rain video was actually Suicide Solution, not Guns n' Roses. And that we're not seeing Axl and Stephanie marry, but Mayne and Elizabeth. And that Elizabeth dies and Mayne is mourning her. The nightmares are because he's haunted by his stupid mistake that cost him the woman he loved. I can't explain Elizabeth's look. Maybe she realized Mayne wasn't going to settle down, I dunno. But I believe it was Elizabeth who went to the gun store. As for the rain panic, I can't explain that. Maybe that was just their reaction to being rained on in their Sunday best.
And as for Elizabeth looking untouched in the coffin, this is another thing I found out (thanks to Amber from WI for pointing this out!): When the coffin is shown for the second time, if your copy of the video is high-quality, freeze frame it and you will see a mirror splitting the coffin, her left side hidden. And yes, you guessed it, a funeral home would do this to allow an open-casket funeral for someone whose face or body was damaged on one side. That about cinches the deal - she must have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, from the barrel being inserted into the mouth and the bullet traveling up and to the left, so she held the gun with her right hand. They cleaned up the right side, but the left side they couldn't fix. Hence the mirror.
OK, NO MORE "WITHOUT YOU" SPOILERS!
As I understand from watching "Making F'n Videos: November Rain", a documentary produced by Gn'R's label, Geffen, about the video. This revealed much more. Del James was a close personal friend of Axl Rose and the band itself. "Without You" was tied to more than just "November Rain". Two other Gn'R videos tied in as well: "Don't Cry" and "Estranged". I believe the order is Don't Cry - Estranged - November Rain, although the events in the videos are probably not in the right order. I have to wonder if Gn'R and Del James weren't going to make a movie containing the story, the events from those videos, and of course the song. It should also be noted that the last line in "Estranged" before the last chorus is, in fact, "Without You".
PS: In regards to the title, there will be another Music Mystery. It's about a more current band, but unless you're Jen and thus you know what it's going to be, you're going to have to wait and be surprised.
Links:
Use Your Illusion I by Guns n' Roses on Amazon.com
This album contains the original, studio version of November Rain.
Guns n' Roses: Welcome to the Videos DVD on Amazon.com
This DVD has most, but not all of their videos. November Rain is included. (Sadly, "You Could Be Mine" is not up here, but Don't Cry and Estranged are as well.) The quality is very high, so if you want to see the mirror in the casket, this is the way to go.
Guns n' Roses: Making F@*!Ing Videos, Vol. 2 VHS on Amazon.com
Sadly this is not available on DVD, but I found my copy on one filesharing network or another. If you have VHS, get this used because Amazon doesn't actually sell it themselves. I doubt it will be rereleased on DVD. I would like to discourage piracy, but if you want to see it, you do what you have to, right? If you want to stay on the straight and narrow with the law, you can always delete it when you're done watching it - no harm no foul, right? This awesome documentary covers all aspects of what I've been talking about and then some, plus it includes the video at the end.
The Language of Fear paperback by Del James on Amazon.com
Here is a link to the book. Currently the low price is $89.44 but that is subject to change. I want to read the rest of it, but I won't pay more than ten bucks.
The full text of Without You, and Axl's intro
I linked to this above but provide the link again for convenience.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Debunking online relationship myths
By now, it seems like everyone's been in an online relationship. Oh, it doesn't have to have come as far as mine - cross-country visits, driving across the country, getting married, trying for kids - but a relationship, at the base level. Talking to someone regularly, knowing their name, building a... profile, if you will, of them in your mind. That's not even friendship yet, just an acquaintance. But the rather politically correct media has spun a few tales about online relationships, and some just aren't true.
1. Anyone who talks to a kid online is a predator.
Completely incorrect. Now, true, there are people who meet kids online to trick or force them into a sexual encounter - but that's only an extreme. In message boards and chat rooms everywhere, kids log on just as much or moreso than adults, depending on the topic. A forum dedicated to Nintendo's latest handheld is going to attract a lot of Pokemon-loving grade school kids, but it's also going to attract Nintendorks like me who have been playing Nintendo games since 1987, when the NES came out. If you stay on topic, only talk about the games, for all you know you could be in your 40s getting advice from an 8-year-old who happens to have been playing it longer.
But even in general chat and off-topic message boards, kids openly post, as kids. I have never been on a message board that had an adult-free kids room. I've also never met anyone who was known to be below... OK, let me think about this for a second... 10 I think. I know I've met a couple 12-year-olds, 14 isn't uncommon - but to read and write and use a computer and understand online communities, 10 is a bare minimum, 8 and 9 being an extreme. Most of the time, kids talk about some of the same stuff adults do.
I've seen kids post as young as 13 in anything-goes uncensored forums, where topics of a sexual and profane nature were allowed. Although I have seen kids swear, generally they swear less, in a topic people are swearing in, less than the adults. Maybe they're being monitored, but kids much more often than adults are forced to conform to a more polite, less profane personality, at least from what I see. In topics of a sexual nature they hardly ever say anything. Oh, I know they read it. But we're not talking about 1950s kids, we're talking about now. They know stuff I didn't even know till I was in my 20s, and I'm not that old - coming up on 28.
I've also seen a lot of adults show these kids respect. Their ideas are valued as much as anyone. Who you are online is somehow apart from your age, your race, your gender or sexual orientation, your religion, etc. It's more about what you say, a little of how you say it, more of the ideas you present, support, and/or oppose. I've even seen a kid - boy was probably 14 at most - running his own online business, I think it was web development, some kind of programming. He knew more than I do, and helped me a couple times, I think. I remember the dude wanted to buy his girlfriend an iMac at one point - he had money of his own that he was earning. Had his own computer, paid for the internet access himself. Kid was probably paying rent.
So it's not all negative. Yes, there are bad people out there with bad intentions for good kids, but that's everywhere. The Internet is not entirely a bad place for kids, and it offers them many more opportunities than threats. Wikipedia, Google (like Google Earth), homework/study sites, and even game communities to help with the fun stuff. And apparently they can even make money, start saving for college.
2. The Internet isn't global, that's all a myth.
Oprah - who I have nothing against - had this show, and she was talking about this couple. Oh, how did it go? Guy gets on AOL, starts talking to a girl. They get talking about personal stuff, he says he just moved to... I think Houston, TX. She says, cool, I'm from Houston. They talk more, he says he'd just come back from some club. She says wow, I've been there. I live like a couple blocks away in some apartments. He says me too, this 10-story complex called whatever. She says whoa, I live there too, on the 8th floor. He says he does as well. They exchange room numbers - they live right next door to one another, had for about six months. They get married, have a few kids, blah blah blah.
Yeah right! Come on now. How stupid do they think people are?
Sure, it's possible. Anything's possible. But if you get in a chat room, up on a message board, and you ask for an ASL Check (Age, Sex, Location check), don't be suprised if you're the only one from Hicksville, KY up there. Don't be surprised if nobody's in your state, even if you're in CA or NY. Oh, after a while you might see someone a few hours away. But the Internet is global. If you're new, prepare to meet people from other states, or other countries. Off the top of my head, I'll name places I've met people from.
Alaska, California, Wisconsin, Texas, North Carolina, Illinois, Oklahoma, New York, Germany, India, England, Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Russia...
And I'm sure there are others. Haven't talked to anyone in the Middle East (besides India, I mean the hot spots) or Asia, so far as I know. Or Africa. But all of America, Canada, Europe, and Australia are all well represented. The Internet is global - it's just about everywhere but on the ocean or the poles - but then surely satellite can get through.
3. You need a commercial dating service to find love.
The hell you do! Jen and I met on the official message board for the rock band Disturbed. The site/board were free to access. We paid for Internet access, but no third party. And for the record, that "free personality profiler" eHarmony offers, is bogus. I heard it from a few people that they spent 20-30 minutes doing it, answering questions about their personality, opinions, habit and manners, stuff like that, only to get a message that says that their profiler or whatever only works with a small portion of the population - that's why it's free. So those who got past that message had to fit some pretty stiff criteria - according to them, most of the population is undateable - or at least unmatchable.
Most of these services categorize people based on some common factors, again, like opinions, personality, habits, manners, etc. Smoker or non-smoker? Drink, yes or no? Like cats? Like dogs? Play board games? Play sports? Do this? Do that? You fill it out and narrow down the dating pool of the desired gender by what matters the most, but - oh, to contact someone, you gotta pay five bucks, and we accept Visa, Mastercard, or PayPal. Nice. Heh. Well, wake up Cupid and eHarmony customers, and smell the java beans. You wanna find someone with similar interests? Look for a fairly big (5,000-10,000 members is good) community dedicated to something you LOVE. A book/author, movie/actor, game, sport, car - whatever. Post on-topic, but check out the offtopic lounge. Don't even join if it hasn't got an offtopic lounge or two. Feel out the community and if they have a good gender mix, make yourself at home. And that's one avenue - you might want to have a few.
But then, the old rule applies - you'll have better chances finding someone if you're NOT looking. I wasn't. My father had passed away a couple months prior, and I joined the DMB (Disturbed Message Board) in July 2002, but didn't become active until later in August, into September. Jen joined a few days before me, and was active from the start. As her name was Silent Jo and she had many more posts than I did, I asked her why Silent was in her name. Apparently that's when she first noticed me. Other than that she was really nothing to me then, just another name. I had a falling out with the community and announced my departure. A stupid thing to do as I would later learn, but this was my first time. As anyone who makes a "goodbye topic" does, I checked back a week later and scoffed at all the "good riddance" posts. A few pages down, Silent Jo says something like "oh great, the one really interesting guy on here leaves". So I became interested in her. I came back, patched things up with those I had a problem with, and set out to learn more about this person who I would marry not four years later.
You can't recreate that! Stuff just happens sometimes.
4. The First Amendment protects you.
Basically, the answer is no, it does not. The complicated answer is that the First Amendment only protects you from censorship by the government and that private corporations (or other individuals) can censor you all they like. So if you're on someone else's site, and they don't like what you say, they can ban you. They can even edit your posts and make you sound like an idiot. They can even, in some situations, post your private information if you've provided it. I've been on a few boards where spammers' posts are edited and their personal information filled in as sort of retribution/punishment. You might be able to do something about that, of course, especially if it's damaging, but in the end a site owner beats a site visitor.
Even if you have your own site, your free speech is not protected, because then you have to answer to the terms of service of your host. You may not be able to host pornography, instruct visitors on performing illegal activities... heck, you might not even be able to offend your host. If they love President Bush and you write something speaking out against the President, they can pull your site. Been there, done that. (I had a site pulled because I told someone how they MIGHT find an 8 year old, out-of-print computer game.)
5. You're anonymous online.
Again, no. There are steps you can take, measures you can implement, to protect your identity online. But if you're posting on a message board, they can track your IP address, see who you are and where you are. They might not have your personal contact information, but they have your ISP's, and most ISPs also list on the IP lookup (called a "whois" search) their Abuse reporting email address, so you can be complained about, and some ISPs will contact you about it. Many message boards allow any member to list any member's posts, allowing them to easily scour your posts for personally identifiable information, such as your hometown, school you go to, where you work, etc. If you piss someone off, they might be able to locate you just on what you say.
It's worse if you have a domain registered. On the DMB (where I met Jen) we had this annoying troll. Guy went by JAW, Noah, maybe a couple others. Seemed like an OK dude at first, but he was completely intent on pissing everyone off. You couldn't find any common ground with the guy. He'd probably be cool in person, where he has to evaluate the consequences of being so inflammatory. Anyway, he got his own domain, started his own board. I don't know who did it first, but they punched in his domain and got his full name (first, middle, last), address, and I think even phone number. Maybe not - I'd probably have called him (in a completely friendly capacity). But either it was posted, or instructions on how to get the information were posted. And then all of a sudden he got real quiet, worried someone might go down to where he was and do something. Oh, he came back - he probably moved, though.
So try not to make enemies - you don't want to have to worry about that. I personally find it easier to put myself out in the open, be completely open and honest about myself. I have my first and last name up here, and I'll tell people the town I'm living in. I may hint to my profession, but I prefer to keep that detail to myself. I'm not opposed to meeting people, but it's gotta be off the clock and not at my place of employment - because in that capacity I'm representing a company, not myself - and also because you just don't mess with the job. Anyone with a fairly high work ethic will tell you the same.
In closing...
The Internet is a wonderful place for communities, and while there are some significant differences between the Internet and the real world, it isn't as bad (or in some cases, as good) as it's made out to be. Basically it is what it is. In some cases, you should take it more seriously than you do or think you should - but in other cases, it shouldn't be taken so seriously - if that makes any sense. Like, you should know that people are real. Ask yourself if you would say to their face what you're typing. And on the other hand, if you get singled out by a clique, or criticized, whatever - just know that you can close the browser any time, back away from it, or leave a community altogether. Don't think you have to come crawling back - there are literally millions of them. I have a happy marriage to thank for sticking with the DMB when things didn't look good for me, but you can't count on that. When I started my own board, I learned who my real friends were - those who followed me. The rest only enjoyed me as long as I posted on their site and didn't care about me beyond that. So any connections should come with you if they're worth a damn.
Nathan
1. Anyone who talks to a kid online is a predator.
Completely incorrect. Now, true, there are people who meet kids online to trick or force them into a sexual encounter - but that's only an extreme. In message boards and chat rooms everywhere, kids log on just as much or moreso than adults, depending on the topic. A forum dedicated to Nintendo's latest handheld is going to attract a lot of Pokemon-loving grade school kids, but it's also going to attract Nintendorks like me who have been playing Nintendo games since 1987, when the NES came out. If you stay on topic, only talk about the games, for all you know you could be in your 40s getting advice from an 8-year-old who happens to have been playing it longer.
But even in general chat and off-topic message boards, kids openly post, as kids. I have never been on a message board that had an adult-free kids room. I've also never met anyone who was known to be below... OK, let me think about this for a second... 10 I think. I know I've met a couple 12-year-olds, 14 isn't uncommon - but to read and write and use a computer and understand online communities, 10 is a bare minimum, 8 and 9 being an extreme. Most of the time, kids talk about some of the same stuff adults do.
I've seen kids post as young as 13 in anything-goes uncensored forums, where topics of a sexual and profane nature were allowed. Although I have seen kids swear, generally they swear less, in a topic people are swearing in, less than the adults. Maybe they're being monitored, but kids much more often than adults are forced to conform to a more polite, less profane personality, at least from what I see. In topics of a sexual nature they hardly ever say anything. Oh, I know they read it. But we're not talking about 1950s kids, we're talking about now. They know stuff I didn't even know till I was in my 20s, and I'm not that old - coming up on 28.
I've also seen a lot of adults show these kids respect. Their ideas are valued as much as anyone. Who you are online is somehow apart from your age, your race, your gender or sexual orientation, your religion, etc. It's more about what you say, a little of how you say it, more of the ideas you present, support, and/or oppose. I've even seen a kid - boy was probably 14 at most - running his own online business, I think it was web development, some kind of programming. He knew more than I do, and helped me a couple times, I think. I remember the dude wanted to buy his girlfriend an iMac at one point - he had money of his own that he was earning. Had his own computer, paid for the internet access himself. Kid was probably paying rent.
So it's not all negative. Yes, there are bad people out there with bad intentions for good kids, but that's everywhere. The Internet is not entirely a bad place for kids, and it offers them many more opportunities than threats. Wikipedia, Google (like Google Earth), homework/study sites, and even game communities to help with the fun stuff. And apparently they can even make money, start saving for college.
2. The Internet isn't global, that's all a myth.
Oprah - who I have nothing against - had this show, and she was talking about this couple. Oh, how did it go? Guy gets on AOL, starts talking to a girl. They get talking about personal stuff, he says he just moved to... I think Houston, TX. She says, cool, I'm from Houston. They talk more, he says he'd just come back from some club. She says wow, I've been there. I live like a couple blocks away in some apartments. He says me too, this 10-story complex called whatever. She says whoa, I live there too, on the 8th floor. He says he does as well. They exchange room numbers - they live right next door to one another, had for about six months. They get married, have a few kids, blah blah blah.
Yeah right! Come on now. How stupid do they think people are?
Sure, it's possible. Anything's possible. But if you get in a chat room, up on a message board, and you ask for an ASL Check (Age, Sex, Location check), don't be suprised if you're the only one from Hicksville, KY up there. Don't be surprised if nobody's in your state, even if you're in CA or NY. Oh, after a while you might see someone a few hours away. But the Internet is global. If you're new, prepare to meet people from other states, or other countries. Off the top of my head, I'll name places I've met people from.
Alaska, California, Wisconsin, Texas, North Carolina, Illinois, Oklahoma, New York, Germany, India, England, Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Russia...
And I'm sure there are others. Haven't talked to anyone in the Middle East (besides India, I mean the hot spots) or Asia, so far as I know. Or Africa. But all of America, Canada, Europe, and Australia are all well represented. The Internet is global - it's just about everywhere but on the ocean or the poles - but then surely satellite can get through.
3. You need a commercial dating service to find love.
The hell you do! Jen and I met on the official message board for the rock band Disturbed. The site/board were free to access. We paid for Internet access, but no third party. And for the record, that "free personality profiler" eHarmony offers, is bogus. I heard it from a few people that they spent 20-30 minutes doing it, answering questions about their personality, opinions, habit and manners, stuff like that, only to get a message that says that their profiler or whatever only works with a small portion of the population - that's why it's free. So those who got past that message had to fit some pretty stiff criteria - according to them, most of the population is undateable - or at least unmatchable.
Most of these services categorize people based on some common factors, again, like opinions, personality, habits, manners, etc. Smoker or non-smoker? Drink, yes or no? Like cats? Like dogs? Play board games? Play sports? Do this? Do that? You fill it out and narrow down the dating pool of the desired gender by what matters the most, but - oh, to contact someone, you gotta pay five bucks, and we accept Visa, Mastercard, or PayPal. Nice. Heh. Well, wake up Cupid and eHarmony customers, and smell the java beans. You wanna find someone with similar interests? Look for a fairly big (5,000-10,000 members is good) community dedicated to something you LOVE. A book/author, movie/actor, game, sport, car - whatever. Post on-topic, but check out the offtopic lounge. Don't even join if it hasn't got an offtopic lounge or two. Feel out the community and if they have a good gender mix, make yourself at home. And that's one avenue - you might want to have a few.
But then, the old rule applies - you'll have better chances finding someone if you're NOT looking. I wasn't. My father had passed away a couple months prior, and I joined the DMB (Disturbed Message Board) in July 2002, but didn't become active until later in August, into September. Jen joined a few days before me, and was active from the start. As her name was Silent Jo and she had many more posts than I did, I asked her why Silent was in her name. Apparently that's when she first noticed me. Other than that she was really nothing to me then, just another name. I had a falling out with the community and announced my departure. A stupid thing to do as I would later learn, but this was my first time. As anyone who makes a "goodbye topic" does, I checked back a week later and scoffed at all the "good riddance" posts. A few pages down, Silent Jo says something like "oh great, the one really interesting guy on here leaves". So I became interested in her. I came back, patched things up with those I had a problem with, and set out to learn more about this person who I would marry not four years later.
You can't recreate that! Stuff just happens sometimes.
4. The First Amendment protects you.
Basically, the answer is no, it does not. The complicated answer is that the First Amendment only protects you from censorship by the government and that private corporations (or other individuals) can censor you all they like. So if you're on someone else's site, and they don't like what you say, they can ban you. They can even edit your posts and make you sound like an idiot. They can even, in some situations, post your private information if you've provided it. I've been on a few boards where spammers' posts are edited and their personal information filled in as sort of retribution/punishment. You might be able to do something about that, of course, especially if it's damaging, but in the end a site owner beats a site visitor.
Even if you have your own site, your free speech is not protected, because then you have to answer to the terms of service of your host. You may not be able to host pornography, instruct visitors on performing illegal activities... heck, you might not even be able to offend your host. If they love President Bush and you write something speaking out against the President, they can pull your site. Been there, done that. (I had a site pulled because I told someone how they MIGHT find an 8 year old, out-of-print computer game.)
5. You're anonymous online.
Again, no. There are steps you can take, measures you can implement, to protect your identity online. But if you're posting on a message board, they can track your IP address, see who you are and where you are. They might not have your personal contact information, but they have your ISP's, and most ISPs also list on the IP lookup (called a "whois" search) their Abuse reporting email address, so you can be complained about, and some ISPs will contact you about it. Many message boards allow any member to list any member's posts, allowing them to easily scour your posts for personally identifiable information, such as your hometown, school you go to, where you work, etc. If you piss someone off, they might be able to locate you just on what you say.
It's worse if you have a domain registered. On the DMB (where I met Jen) we had this annoying troll. Guy went by JAW, Noah, maybe a couple others. Seemed like an OK dude at first, but he was completely intent on pissing everyone off. You couldn't find any common ground with the guy. He'd probably be cool in person, where he has to evaluate the consequences of being so inflammatory. Anyway, he got his own domain, started his own board. I don't know who did it first, but they punched in his domain and got his full name (first, middle, last), address, and I think even phone number. Maybe not - I'd probably have called him (in a completely friendly capacity). But either it was posted, or instructions on how to get the information were posted. And then all of a sudden he got real quiet, worried someone might go down to where he was and do something. Oh, he came back - he probably moved, though.
So try not to make enemies - you don't want to have to worry about that. I personally find it easier to put myself out in the open, be completely open and honest about myself. I have my first and last name up here, and I'll tell people the town I'm living in. I may hint to my profession, but I prefer to keep that detail to myself. I'm not opposed to meeting people, but it's gotta be off the clock and not at my place of employment - because in that capacity I'm representing a company, not myself - and also because you just don't mess with the job. Anyone with a fairly high work ethic will tell you the same.
In closing...
The Internet is a wonderful place for communities, and while there are some significant differences between the Internet and the real world, it isn't as bad (or in some cases, as good) as it's made out to be. Basically it is what it is. In some cases, you should take it more seriously than you do or think you should - but in other cases, it shouldn't be taken so seriously - if that makes any sense. Like, you should know that people are real. Ask yourself if you would say to their face what you're typing. And on the other hand, if you get singled out by a clique, or criticized, whatever - just know that you can close the browser any time, back away from it, or leave a community altogether. Don't think you have to come crawling back - there are literally millions of them. I have a happy marriage to thank for sticking with the DMB when things didn't look good for me, but you can't count on that. When I started my own board, I learned who my real friends were - those who followed me. The rest only enjoyed me as long as I posted on their site and didn't care about me beyond that. So any connections should come with you if they're worth a damn.
Nathan
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